Jeff Lindsay (writer) Quotes

70 Sourced Quotes

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.

Jeff Lindsay
Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.

Jeff Lindsay
I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.

Jeff Lindsay
For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France.

Jeff Lindsay
A reasonable being might think that he and I could find some common ground; have a cup of coffee and compare our Passengers, exchange trade talk and chitchat about dismemberment techniques. But no: Doakes wanted me dead. And I found it difficult to share his point of view.

Jeff Lindsay
As I've said, freedom is really an illusion. Anytime we think we have a real choice, it just means we haven't seen the shotgun aimed at our navel.

Jeff Lindsay
I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn?

Jeff Lindsay
It's an odd term, 'girlfriend,' particularly for grown persons. And in practice it provides an even odder concept. Generally speaking, in adults it described a woman, not a girl, who was willing to provide sex, not friendship. In fact, from what I had observed it was quite possible for one to actively dislike one's girlfriend, although of course true hatred is reserved for marriage.

Jeff Lindsay
I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.

Jeff Lindsay
Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.

Jeff Lindsay
After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.

Jeff Lindsay
Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children?

Jeff Lindsay
And as always seems to happen when I have reached the point where I am ready to take decisive action, everything began to happen at once.

Jeff Lindsay
Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm quite sure most people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake it all. I fake it very well, and the feelings are never there.

Jeff Lindsay
The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it?

Jeff Lindsay
It's like, everything really is two ways, the way we all pretend it is and the way it really is

Jeff Lindsay
I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.

Jeff Lindsay
I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

Jeff Lindsay
Really now: If you can't get me my newspaper on time, how can you expect me to refrain from killing people?

Jeff Lindsay
Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

Jeff Lindsay
No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.

Jeff Lindsay
I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff.

Jeff Lindsay
It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.

Jeff Lindsay
Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you?

Jeff Lindsay
They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.

Jeff Lindsay