Jeff Foxworthy - Minutes Quotes

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Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard. And if you play with 'em too hard, they'll spew like a can of beer. I like to shake my daughter up, then hand her to people I don't like. "Hold her just a minute, would you?"

Jeff Foxworthy

[from a skit about airports] You know you're in trouble when at the control tower, there's a note taped to the door that says "Back in five minutes."

Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have the stupidest family in the world, you don't have the goofiest family in the world. And if you ever need to verify that, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Five minutes at a fair, you'll be going, "You know what? We're all right. We're dang near royalty!"

Jeff Foxworthy

You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

Jeff Foxworthy

I've often said working with Larry is a lot like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.

Jeff Foxworthy