Jack Paar Quotes

16 Sourced Quotes

The California cemeteries make dying sound so attractive it's a real effort to keep breathing.

Jack Paar
Now that man can fly through the air like a bird... and swim in the sea like a fish, wouldn't it be wonderful if he could just walk the earth like a man?

Jack Paar
My life seems like one long obstacle course, with me as the chief obstacle.

Jack Paar
For years I couldn't get a sponsor and now I have so many commercials I'm afraid to take a bow for fear NBC will sell an ad on top of my head.

Jack Paar
Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

Jack Paar
There's something disquieting about a banzai charge if you're allergic to noisy Japanese.

Jack Paar
To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Jack Paar
I've been engaged in a few skirmishes in my day, including one called World War II.

Jack Paar
Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney.

Jack Paar
The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

Jack Paar
It was plain to see the Hollywood undertakers take care of everything. If you die you don't have to lift a finger.

Jack Paar
Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.

Jack Paar
Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration of what God could do if He had more imagination.

Jack Paar
Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

Jack Paar
I'm complicated, sentimental, lovable, honest, loyal, decent, generous, likable, and lonely. My personality is not split; it's shredded.

Jack Paar
Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

Jack Paar