Haven Kimmel Quotes

9 Sourced Quotes

Contrary to popular opinion, my dad was not a lazy man. He was not lazy at all, for instance, when it came to Going Places In His Truck. He was also very industrious about Preparing To Go Camping. And if something really interested him, he would work on it all day.

Haven Kimmel

Mother always said she was a size 7 woman she kept wrapped in fat to prevent bruising.

Haven Kimmel

My favorite was Love Is...Never Having to Say You're Sorry. This was, the good Lord knew, a dream of mine. But every time I refused to apologize for something, Love seemed to just fly out the window.

Haven Kimmel

Ordinarily my mom just sunk deeper into her corner of the couch and ignored it. She had successfully ignored a quarter of a century of entropy and decay, had sat peacefully crunching popcorn and drinking soda while the house fell down around us. If I had to guess the number of books she read during that time, I would place the number at somewhere in the neighborhood of forty thousand.

Haven Kimmel

I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn't have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.

Haven Kimmel

I respect every way in which you are a troublemaker, now get up and do what your mother says.

Haven Kimmel

My hair looks like it had been purchased at a rummage sale after all the real hair was gone.

Haven Kimmel

What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts? Because I got kicked out of Brownies and they won't give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp.

Haven Kimmel

Possibility, infinity, beauty — none of those words were right. [...] What he really wanted to say was: have you felt this? this phantom life streaking like a phosphorescent hound at the edges of your ruin?

Haven Kimmel