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Groucho Marx -
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Having watched a county cricket match for several hours:
Are you enjoying it?
It's great. When does it start?
They say Allen got something from the Marx Brothers. He got nothing. Maybe twenty years ago, he might have been inspired. Today he's an original. The best, the funniest.
They say a man is as old as the woman he feels. In that case I'm eighty-five … I want it known here and now that this is what I want on my tombstone: Here lies Groucho Marx, and Lies and Lies and Lies. P.S. He never kissed an ugly girl.
To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.
Quote of the day
Most of the memorable events I have myself been exercised in; and, for the satisfaction of the public, will briefly relate the circumstances of my adventures, and scenes of life, from my first movement to this country until this day.
October 2, 1890
August 19, 1977
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Predictions that didn't happen
If it's on the Internet it must be true
Remarkable Last Words (or Near-Last Words)
Philip James Bailey
Letitia Elizabeth Landon