George Carlin - People Quotes

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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

George Carlin
If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance.

George Carlin
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

George Carlin
People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a short pause before the next "horrifying" event. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound "heals" it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, "Let the scarring begin.

George Carlin
So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but they had a golf course.

George Carlin
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.

George Carlin
You ever notice that? Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats. Keep an eye on that, it might be important.

George Carlin
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

George Carlin
I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

George Carlin
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

George Carlin
The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.

George Carlin
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.

George Carlin
People think life is real complicated. Actually, there's nothing to it. Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.

George Carlin
Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff?

George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

George Carlin