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Gelett Burgess Quotes
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To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.
Gelett Burgess
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I never saw a purple cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one!
Gelett Burgess
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My son, beware of a plain damsel who charmeth thee, for she needeth much wile, and useth diverse weapons.
Gelett Burgess
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The Goops they lick their fingers,
And the Goops they lick their knives;
They spill their broth on the tablecloth—
Oh, they lead disgusting lives!
The Goops they talk while eating,
And loud and fast they chew;
And that is why I'm glad that I Am not a Goop—are you?
Gelett Burgess
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It is in the blood of genius to love play for its own sake, and whether one uses one's skill on thrones or women, swords or pens, gold or fame, the game's the thing.
Gelett Burgess
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A reproof entereth more into a woman of sense than an hundred compliments into a fool.
Gelett Burgess
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Many a maid have I won by a quarrel, when flattery was in no wise helpful; but take heed that thou art in the wrong, so that thou mayest acknowledge thine error.
Gelett Burgess
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Hast thou given the first kiss to a maiden? Write her speedily on the morrow before she giveth thee fierce words; assure her and comfort her woe; let her remorse be abated, give unto her an excuse for her conduct.
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There is indeed no such thing in life as absolute darkness; one's eyes revolt and hasten to fill the vacuum by floating in sparks, dream patterns, figures whimsical and figures grotesque, shifting and clad in complementary colors, to appease the indignant cups and rods of the retina.
Gelett Burgess
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A maiden's first kiss cometh hard, yea, it is as the first olive out of a bottle, requiring much skill; but the rest are easy.
Gelett Burgess
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Some women are to be captured by storm and some taken by siege; yet if there be not a traitor in her heart that shall deliver up the garrison, thou shalt not prevail over her.
Gelett Burgess
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The world is full of women, and the women full of wile; so that a man, if he goeth not warily withal, shall surely fall a prey thereunto.
Gelett Burgess
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Her heart consenteth before her lips say: Yea; and in this interval lieth her Paradise; wherefore she would prolong it.
Gelett Burgess
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Love endeth like the chianti flask, its drops are bitter.
Gelett Burgess
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Son, if a maiden love thee, thou shalt appear handsome in her sight; she shall praise thine eyes, and the corners of thy mouth, yea, she shall admire thy hands. Though thou wert even as the orangutan yet shall she paint thee with fancies.
Gelett Burgess
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As the cat lapses into savagery by night, and barbarously explores the dark, so primal and titanic is a woman with the love madness.
Gelett Burgess
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To make fun of a person to his face is a brutal way of amusing one's self; be delicate and cunning, and keep your laugh in your sleeve, lest you frighten away your game.
Gelett Burgess
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As the dog becomes thoroughbred in the laws of clan and caste; obedient, fraternal and loyal; so is the man who accepts the gentleman's code.
Gelett Burgess
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Old friends, we say, are best, when some sudden disillusionment shakes our faith in a new comrade.
Gelett Burgess
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My feet, they haul me Round the House, They hoist me up the Stairs; I only have to steer them, and They Ride me Everywheres.
Gelett Burgess
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Without bigots, eccentrics, cranks and heretics the world would not progress.
Gelett Burgess
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A woman findeth in her last lover much of her first love; but a man seeth his next-to-the-last love, alway.
Gelett Burgess
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If thou makest a statement concerning women, lo, she shall immediately try to disprove it straightway. She goeth by contraries.
Gelett Burgess
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Propose not to a woman when she hath gotten a new frock, nor when she is puffed up with victories; when she reigneth and rejoiceth in her hour of triumph, come not nigh unto her; but when she be ill or weary, when she is cast down in spirit and needeth a comforter, then be thou ready, and make thy suit.
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Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky; whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.
Gelett Burgess
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Most women have all other women as adversaries; most men have all other men as their allies.
Gelett Burgess
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Seek one woman whom thou canst trust, and to her who lovest thee best, tell thy secrets. She will deliver thee from the hands of strange women, she will expose their craft; and of her who flattereth thee, will she make known the reason.
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Woo her not till thou hast seen her mother, for a score of years worketh wonders.
Gelett Burgess
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A woman and a mouse, they carry a tale wherever they go.
Gelett Burgess
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The temptation to vivify they tale and make it walk abroad on its own legs is hard to deny.
Gelett Burgess
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Quote of the day
Nobody ever did anything very foolish except from some strong principle.
William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne
Gelett Burgess
Creative Commons
Born:
January 30, 1866
Died:
September 18, 1951
(aged 85)
Bio:
Frank Gelett Burgess was an artist, art critic, poet, author and humorist.
Known for:
Goops and how to be them (1900)
Are You a Bromide? (1906)
Goop Tales: Alphabetically Told
The Burgess nonsense book (1901)
Most used words:
women
woman
love
man
eyes
thine
yea
goops
son
Gelett Burgess on Wikipedia
Gelett Burgess works on Gutenberg Project
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