Fran Lebowitz - Children Quotes

12 Sourced Quotes

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All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive — you are leaking.

Fran Lebowitz
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.

Fran Lebowitz
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Fran Lebowitz
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams.

Fran Lebowitz
If you don't have children and you don't have a job, you have time for friendship... People who have jobs are not the best friends to have. It's better to be friends with people who are unemployed.

Fran Lebowitz
Do not allow your children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.

Fran Lebowitz
Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?"

Fran Lebowitz
Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

Fran Lebowitz
Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.

Fran Lebowitz
I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

Fran Lebowitz
Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in moods, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement mixer long after one's interest in the topic has waned.

Fran Lebowitz
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.

Fran Lebowitz