Evan Esar Quotes

22 Sourced Quotes

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

Evan Esar
When Marilyn Monroe, the American Venus, visited England, one London correspondent wrote that she looked like a million dollars. Fortunately, he did not write that she looked like a million pounds.

Evan Esar
[Geologist] A scientist whose life is less sedentary than sedimentary.

Evan Esar
A man picks a wife about the same way an apple picks a farmer.

Evan Esar
An actor is a man with an infinite capacity for taking praise.

Evan Esar
A beautiful blonde is chemically three-fourths water, but what lovely surface tension.

Evan Esar
Children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.

Evan Esar
The architect who always talks shop is probably suffering from an edifice complex.

Evan Esar
The architect makes an old house look better just by talking about the cost of a new one.

Evan Esar
There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.

Evan Esar
Only one man has the right to boast, and that's the man who never does.

Evan Esar
[Geology] The subject that brings a student down to earth.

Evan Esar
An alert copyreader on a newspaper couldn't believe it when he read a reporter's account of the theft of 2025 pigs. That's a lot of pigs, he thought, and called the farmer to check the copy. Is it true that you lost 2025 pigs? he asked. Yeth, lisped the farmer. Thanks, returned the copyreader, and corrected the story to read two sows and 25 pigs.

Evan Esar
Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

Evan Esar
It is the uncensored sense of humor of a people which is the ultimate therapy for man in society.

Evan Esar
The personal comparative is marked by epigrammatic self-satire. It implies that everyone thinks himself better than anyone else, but only the egoist says so.

Evan Esar
Where there is insight in citation, or wisdom winged with wit, especially from the world of letters, I have quoted liberally. For a good epigram not only makes a point, but a point to ponder. This book provides many such quotations that I have unearthed from the tomes of many writers.

Evan Esar
The history of humorous writing discloses everchanging trends. Our fast-paced modern living is too impatient for the lengthy light verse and the leisurely essays of our forefathers.

Evan Esar
An epigram is the marriage of wit, and wisdom; a wisecrack, their divorce.

Evan Esar
Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Evan Esar
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Evan Esar
Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration, and inspiration.

Evan Esar