E. W. Howe - Country town sayings (1911)

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Everyone hates a martyr; it's no wonder martyrs were burned at the stake.

E. W. Howe
About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.

E. W. Howe
When a man diets, he eats oatmeal in addition to everything else he usually eats.

E. W. Howe
Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.

E. W. Howe
Abusing the prosperous in order to curry the favor of the envious, is an old game that still works better than it should.

E. W. Howe
If a man has money, it is usually a sign, too, that he knows how to take care of it; don't imagine his money is easy to get simply because he has plenty of it.

E. W. Howe
A successful man cannot realize how hard an unsuccessful man finds life.

E. W. Howe
If a man takes one day off, it takes him about three days to get the harness fitted again.

E. W. Howe
Where the guests at a gathering are well-acquainted, they eat 20 per cent more than they otherwise would.

E. W. Howe
No really sensible person ever remembers enough poetry to recite it.

E. W. Howe
Don't take up a man's time talking about the smartness of your children; he wants to talk to you about the smartness of his children.

E. W. Howe
A man who will not get scared on some occasions, lacks good sense.

E. W. Howe
A man has a right to think lots of things he has no right to say.

E. W. Howe
The only gambling tip which amounts to anything is to keep out of the game.

E. W. Howe
If the fools do not control the world, it isn't because they are not in the majority.

E. W. Howe
At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but as soon as she gets one, she wants everything else in the world.

E. W. Howe
There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.

E. W. Howe
When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.

E. W. Howe
If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

E. W. Howe
There is no such thing as a convincing argument, although every man thinks he has one.

E. W. Howe
You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.

E. W. Howe
The greatest thing in the world is for a man to be able to do something well, and say nothing about it.

E. W. Howe
To want your own way is a very bad habit, for you will never get it.

E. W. Howe
People hate the man who is a constant drain on their sympathy.

E. W. Howe
People tolerate those they fear further than those they love.

E. W. Howe
A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.

E. W. Howe
So many of the optimists in the world don't own a hundred dollars, and because of their optimism, never will.

E. W. Howe
No man knows where his business ends and his neighbor's begins.

E. W. Howe
The trouble in the world is nearly all due to the fact that one-half of the people are men, and the other half women.

E. W. Howe
There is usually enough of everything on the table except cream.

E. W. Howe