E. W. Howe - Country town sayings (1911)

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When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

E. W. Howe
Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start.

E. W. Howe
Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

E. W. Howe
What people say behind your back is your standing in the community.

E. W. Howe
The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

E. W. Howe
Put cream and sugar on a fly and it tastes very much like a raspberry.

E. W. Howe
Having fun is a dismal business after you pass fifty.

E. W. Howe
Nearly every man is a coward, if confronted by the proper terror.

E. W. Howe
Men are a good deal better collectively than they are individually. Many a man will do that privately which he will denounce in a crowd.

E. W. Howe
Probably you have noted the resemblance of the critic to the crank.

E. W. Howe
Nothing pleases a woman quite so well as to look so sweet that a man wants to kiss her, and then abuse him for his impudence.

E. W. Howe
The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

E. W. Howe
When a man diets, he eats oatmeal in addition to everything else he usually eats.

E. W. Howe
About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.

E. W. Howe
Everyone hates a martyr; it's no wonder martyrs were burned at the stake.

E. W. Howe
A man forgets his good luck next day, but remembers his bad luck until next year.

E. W. Howe
When a man dies, and his kin are glad of it, they say, "He is better off."

E. W. Howe
Every time you become confidential with some people, you hear of a new kind of dirty trick.

E. W. Howe
If you go to church, and like the singing better than the preaching, that's not orthodox.

E. W. Howe
Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.

E. W. Howe
If you have sense enough to realize why flies gather around a restaurant, you should be able to appreciate why men run for office.

E. W. Howe
Another thing which is about as sure as death and taxes, is that no man can go on bluffing indefinitely without being called.

E. W. Howe
The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

E. W. Howe
It is your enemies who keep you straight. For real use one active, sneering enemy is worth two ordinary friends.

E. W. Howe
A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.

E. W. Howe
A man has his clothes made to fit him; a woman makes herself fit her clothes.

E. W. Howe
The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.

E. W. Howe
Faith may have removed mountains way off somewhere, a long time ago, but it won't remove a wart at home this week.

E. W. Howe
A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

E. W. Howe
When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.

E. W. Howe