Derek Landy - Skulduggery Pleasant (2007)

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Guild doesn't like me." "That's true." "He doesn't like you, ether." "That is mystifying.

Derek Landy
You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Derek Landy
He does this on purpose," Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause. "He looks like he's about to sneeze," Stephanie remarked.

Derek Landy
The world is bigger than you know, and scarier than you might imagine. The only currency worth anything is being true to yourself, and the only goal worth seeking is finding out who you truly are.

Derek Landy
Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her father's other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware when he thought no one was looking

Derek Landy
He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key chain and the car beeped and the doors locked. "That's it?" He looked up. "Sorry?" "Aren't you afraid it might get stolen? We're not exactly in a good part of town." "It's got a car alarm." "Don't you, like, cast a spell or something? To keep it safe?" "No. It's a pretty good car alarm.

Derek Landy
The lies we tell other people are nothing to the lies we tell ourselves.

Derek Landy
You've done what?" "I know," he said. "You're impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.

Derek Landy
You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.

Derek Landy
Her father sagged as relief spread through him. I thought something awful was happening. She frowned. Something awful was happening. It could have got stuck in my hair.

Derek Landy
She's you, without your conscience, or your feelings. She's you without your humanity." "You're saying she's a mood swing?" He shrugged. "Or maybe you're her mood swing." "Don't even joke about that.

Derek Landy
Are you sulking? Me? No. I don't sulk. You sound like you're sulking. I'm just waiting for the violent urges to subside.

Derek Landy
It's fairly standard. Also, I'm fourteen. Also, your beard's stupid. Isn't this fun? Skulduggery said brightly. The three of us getting along so well.

Derek Landy
Scapegrace leaped up. I am the Killer Supreme! I make murder into an art form! Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl before falling.

Derek Landy
Have you killed anyone? she asked quickly. What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into an art form? But you haven't actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read your file. He glowered. Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven't

Derek Landy
An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said. 'I could have tripped.' She stared at him. A moment dragged by. 'I'm joking,' he said at last. She relaxed. 'Really?' 'Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.

Derek Landy
Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead. Of course he's dead. He's a skeleton.

Derek Landy
If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.

Derek Landy
I need a weapon, Valkyrie muttered. You're an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in a variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world, Skulduggery pointed out. I'm fairly certain that makes you a weapon. I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick. I'll buy you a stick for Christmas.

Derek Landy
Doesn't sunlight kill them? Doesn't it turn them to dust, or make them burst into flames or something?" "Nope. Vampires tan, just like you and me. Well, just like you. I tend to bleach.

Derek Landy
Mum said earlier what a lovely dress you're wearing. Beryl's eyebrows wriggled like two tiny tapeworms. This? she said. But I've had this for years. It was a beige dress that would have looked better on an eighty year-old. Any eighty-year-old, man or woman. I think you've really grown into it, Valkyrie said. I always thought it was a little shapeless. Valkyrie resisted the urge to say that was what she meant.

Derek Landy
You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...' 'Don't?' 'Exactly,' he said happily.

Derek Landy
Do you think we'll be waiting long? Valkyrie asked, keeping her voice low. The last time we were in this building, we accused the Grand Mage of being a traitor, Skulduggery said. Yes, I think we'll be waiting long.

Derek Landy
I love you all, even those I don't particularly like. That's you, Beryl.

Derek Landy
The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven." "Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil

Derek Landy