Dennis Miller - Love Quotes

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A new poll of Iraqis shows that more than half of them believe they would be safer if U.S. troops left their country. In a related story, more than half of Americans believe we would be safer if Iraqis stopped answering poll questions and helped us get their damn lights back on, OK? I love that story, a poll of Iraqis want us to leave.

Dennis Miller
I have always had a deep and abiding love for the English language. I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels, the sturdy dependability of nouns and the capricious whimsy of verbs, the strutting pageantry of the adjective and the flitting evanescence of the adverb, all kept safe and orderly by those reliable little policeman, punctuation marks.

Dennis Miller
Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8 degrees. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.

Dennis Miller
I think the American legal system sucks worse than a Celine Dion cover version of "Whole Lotta Love."

Dennis Miller
He's (Michael Moore) going to wake up every day for the rest of his life, and he's going to tell us how he hates everything about this country except his right to hate it. And then we say that we love it and he's going to tell us what naive sheep we are and that he's the true patriot because he hates it and he sees all the problems in it. Yeah, right, Mike. You know something, if my yawn got any bigger they'd have to assign it a hurricane name, okay? Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong.

Dennis Miller