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David Levithan -
The Lover's Dictionary (2010)
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People often say that when couples are married for a long time, they start to look alike. I don't believe that. But I do believe their sentences start to look alike.
David Levithan
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I still don't know if this is a good quality or a bad one, to be able to be in the moment and then step out of it.
David Levithan
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I never understood why anyone would have sex on the floor. Until I was with you and I realized: you don't realize you're on the floor.
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Our lives change. Our feelings for each other change. Our bearings change. The song changes. The air changes. The temperature of the shower changes. Accept this. We must accept this.
David Levithan
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There are things I miss," you said. "But if I didn't have you, I'd miss more.
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The way you argued with me, you would have thought that we were debating the existence of God or whether or not we should move in together. These kinds of fights can never be won – even if you're the victor, you've hurt the other person, and there has to be some loss associated with that.
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Even when I detach, I care. You can be separate from a thing and still care about it. If I wanted to detach completely, I would move my body away. I would stop the conversation midsentence. I would leave the bed. Instead, I hover over it for a second. I glance off in another direction. But I always glance back at you.
David Levithan
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If there wasn't a word for it, would we realize our masochism as much?
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You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.
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Aloof, adj. It has always been my habit, ever since junior high school, to ask that question: What are you thinking? It is always an act of desperation, and I keep on asking, even though I know it will never work the way I want it to.
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Fraught, adj. Does every I love you deserve an I love you too ? Does every kiss deserve a kiss back? Does every night deserve to be spent on a lover? If the answer to any of these is No, what do we do?
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You leave the phone on beside you as you fall asleep. I sit in my bed and listen to your breathing, until I know you are safe, until I know you no longer need me for the night.
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Elliptical, adj. The kiss I like the most is one of the slow ones. It's as much breath as touch, as much no as yes. You lean in from the side, and I have to turn a little to make it happen.
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What did it matter to me? Did I think that by making you rational about one thing, I could make you rational about everything? Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted to save you from your fears
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There is no word for the recipient of the love. There is only a word for the giver. There is the assumption that lovers come in pairs.
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Arrears, n. My faithfulness was as unthinking as your lapse. Of all the things I though would go wrong, I never thought it would be that. "It was a mistake," you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.
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For I have never wanted a lover, but I have always wanted to love, and to be loved.
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But we comforted ourselves with what we really meant to say, which was: "I don't normally feel this good about what I'm doing." Measure the hope of that moment, that feeling. Everything else will be measured against it.
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And suddenly you started singing out your love for me. My name and everything, loud enough to reach the top floors of all the buildings. I should have told you to stop, but I didn't want you to stop. I didn't mind if your love for me woke people up. I didn't mind if it somehow sneaked into their sleep.
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I have already spent roughly five thousand hours asleep next to you. This has to mean something.
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I'm swimming in your cadences that you permeate my very language.
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If this continues, if this goes on, then when I die, your memories of me will be my greatest accomplishment. You memories will be my most lasting impressions.
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You know, I'd get a tattoo with your name on it. Only, I want you to have the freedom to change your name if you want to.
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Even if neither of us got what we wanted, we found freedom in the third choices.
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If I lose it now, I will lose you, too. I know that. I hate it.
David Levithan
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Quote of the day
Communism is inequality, but not as property is. Property is exploitation of the weak by the strong. Communism is exploitation of the strong by the weak.
Pierre-Joseph Proudhon
David Levithan
Creative Commons
Born:
September 7, 1972
(age 51)
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