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David Letterman - Late Show with David Letterman

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Anybody been to Pizza Hut lately? You can get a pizza stuffed with hot dogs. They got the idea from sketches in an early Da Vinci notebook.

David Letterman
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Christopher Columbus, an Italian, moved to Spain and then discovered America, although many Americans believe he was actually born in Kenya.

David Letterman
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A hundred years ago the Titanic sank. It was supposed to be unsinkable. If they were going to make that same cruise again today, thanks to global warming they would not have to worry about icebergs.

David Letterman
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A congressman from my state of Indiana, Mark Souder, has been forced to resign because of a sex scandal. Finally, I'm not Indiana's biggest embarrassment.

David Letterman
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Mayor Michael Bloomberg says he feels safe riding on the subway. I want to know how he gets his bullet-proof limo into the subway.

David Letterman
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Now all of us can talk to the NSA—just by dialing any number.

David Letterman
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This year, there are 10 nominees for the Best Picture Oscar, in an effort to add some length to the show. This year the "dead actor" montage will also include those who are sick.

David Letterman
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Excited about the Academy Awards? It will be a lot of people you've never met thanking people you've never heard of.

David Letterman

Quote of the day

One of the first signs of the beginnings of understanding is the wish to die. This life appears unbearable, another unattainable. One is no longer ashamed of wanting to die; one asks to be moved from the old cell, which one hates, to a new one, which one will only in time come to hate.
Franz Kafka

David Letterman

David Letterman

Born: April 12, 1947 (age 78)
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