David Letterman - Late Show with David Letterman

8 Sourced Quotes

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Anybody been to Pizza Hut lately? You can get a pizza stuffed with hot dogs. They got the idea from sketches in an early Da Vinci notebook.

David Letterman

Christopher Columbus, an Italian, moved to Spain and then discovered America, although many Americans believe he was actually born in Kenya.

David Letterman

A hundred years ago the Titanic sank. It was supposed to be unsinkable. If they were going to make that same cruise again today, thanks to global warming they would not have to worry about icebergs.

David Letterman

A congressman from my state of Indiana, Mark Souder, has been forced to resign because of a sex scandal. Finally, I'm not Indiana's biggest embarrassment.

David Letterman

Mayor Michael Bloomberg says he feels safe riding on the subway. I want to know how he gets his bullet-proof limo into the subway.

David Letterman

Now all of us can talk to the NSA—just by dialing any number.

David Letterman

This year, there are 10 nominees for the Best Picture Oscar, in an effort to add some length to the show. This year the "dead actor" montage will also include those who are sick.

David Letterman

Excited about the Academy Awards? It will be a lot of people you've never met thanking people you've never heard of.

David Letterman