Charlie Sheen Quotes

31 Sourced Quotes

I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitching, a total … rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain.

Charlie Sheen
I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

Charlie Sheen
They were like 'AA this' and I was like 'Bye bye that'

Charlie Sheen
... from some distant memory as she stood there before you.

Charlie Sheen
On whether he is bipolar:
Wow, what does that mean? … What's the cure? Medicine? Make me like them? Not going to happen. I'm bi-WINNING! I win here and I win there. Now what?

Charlie Sheen
Most of the time—and this includes naps—I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air, and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.

Charlie Sheen
It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view.

Charlie Sheen
I'm on a quest to claim absolute victory on every front.

Charlie Sheen
There's been a tsunami of media, and I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard.

Charlie Sheen
Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.

Charlie Sheen
I didn't really believe I had "tiger blood" or "Adonis DNA." These were just jokes.

Charlie Sheen
I don't have time for these clowns. I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then look at me and they say 'I can't process it'. Well no, and you never will. Stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show.

Charlie Sheen
On Ashton Kutcher:
It's hard to give advice to a guy that accomplished. I would just give him a hug and just say, "Make me proud, dude."

Charlie Sheen
We need to hack up the person responsible for this bad connection.... hack him up in front of his children. We need to cut off his face and wear it and go on a really tightly budgeted shopping spree in stores that don't exist yet.

Charlie Sheen
I don't believe in rock bottom. Rock bottom is like a fishing term.

Charlie Sheen
I probably took more than anybody could survive. … I was bangin' seven-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, I have one gear, GO!. … I'm different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man. … Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs.

Charlie Sheen
I'm grandiose. Because I live a grandiose life. I'm not 'aw shucks' … because I'm gnarly.

Charlie Sheen
I expose people to magic, I expose them to something they're never otherwise going to see in their boring normal lives.

Charlie Sheen
They're trying to destroy my family, so I take great umbrage with that. And defeat is not an option. They picked a fight with a warlock.

Charlie Sheen
Women are not to be hit. They're to be hugged and caressed.

Charlie Sheen
People that aren't special, people that don't have tiger blood and Adonis DNA

Charlie Sheen
You borrow my brain for 5 seconds, and just be like "Dude, can't handle it, unplug this bastard", because it fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.

Charlie Sheen
"The Goddesses"? I don't believe the term is good enough, but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available.

Charlie Sheen
I wish people would shift that focus on to themselves and their own family and their own friends and just maybe spend a little more time on their home front. And not some distant planet that is me.

Charlie Sheen
I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee.

Charlie Sheen
He [Lenny Dykstra] might be Nails, but I'm frickin' bayonets.

Charlie Sheen
On his firing from Two and a Half Men:
I would have fired my ass too. Well, maybe not like they did.

Charlie Sheen
I'm so tired of pretending my life isn't perfect and bitching and just winning every second.

Charlie Sheen
I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself.

Charlie Sheen
It was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them just look like droopy-eyed armless children.

Charlie Sheen