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Cassandra Clare -
Jem
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Jem told me what Ragnor Fell said about my father, Will said. That for my father, there was only ever one woman he loved, and it was her for him, or nothing. You are that for me. I love you, and I will only ever love you until I die —
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Jem drew back from her, looking dazed. "By the Angel," he said. "Perhaps we do need a chaperon.
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Do not think I do not know that Cecily wants you to return home with her. And do not think I do not know that you remain for Jem's sake." "And yours," he said before he could stop himself.
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Jem cried out with all his remaining strength. You cannot go where I am going! Nor would I want that for you!
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You don't think I can fight." Tessa said, drawing back and matching his silvery gaze with her own. "Because I'm a girl." "I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress", said Jem. "For what it's worth, I don't think Will could fight in that dress either." "Perhaps not," said Will, who had ears like a bat'a. "But I would make a radiant bride.
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A little girl robbed you?" Tessa said. "Actually, she wasn't a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel." "Easy mistake to make," Jem said.
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How rude. Many who have gazed upon me have compared the experience to gazing at the radiance of the sun." Jem still had his eyes closed. "If they mean it gives you a headache, they aren't wrong.
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Will has always been the brighter burning star, the one to catch attention — but Jem is a steady flame, unwavering and honest. He could make you happy.
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I will still be in some part the Jem you knew, and I will see you with the eyes of my heart.
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Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there.
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I take your hand, brother, so that you may go in peace. Will had opened his blue eyes that never lost their colour over all the passing years, and looked at Jem and then Tessa, and smiled, and died, with Tessa's head on his shoulder and and his hand in Jem's.
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I believe in good and evil," said Jem. "And I believe the soul is eternal. But I don't believe in the fiery pit, the pitchforks, or endless torment. I do not believe you can threaten people into goodness." Tessa looked at will. "What about you? What do you believe? "Pulvis et umbra sumus," said Will, not looking at her as he spoke. "I believe we are dust and shadows. What else is there?
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He began it, Cecily said, jerking her chin at Will, though she knew it was pointless. Jem, Will's parabatai, treated her with the distant sweet kindness reserved for the little sisters of one's friends, but he would always side with Will. Kindly, but firmly, he put Will above everything else in the world. Well, nearly everything.
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He wanted to run to her, wrap her in his arms. Protect her. But it was Jem's place to do those things, not his. Not his. -Will Herondale
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She knew she could not be Jem for Will. No one could. But slowly the hollow places in his heart were filling in.
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You should see his older brother, said Jem. Makes Gabriel look sweeter than gingerbread. Hates Will even more thanGabriel, too, if that's possible.
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Charlotte, who had sagged back in her chair, her eyes half-closed, said, Will, I have already been up all night copying down the relevant parts. Much of it was— Gibberish? Jem suggested. Pornographic? said Will at the same time. Could be both, said Will. Haven't you ever heard of pornographic gibberish before?
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Will closed his eyes. He could not hear Jem go, not anymore; he did not want to know the moment when he left and Will was alone, did now want to know when his first day as a Shawdowhunter without a parabatai truly began. And if the place over his heart, where his parabatai rune had been, flared up with a sudden burning pain as the door closed behind Jem, Will told himself it was only a stray ember from the fire.
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As metal rang on metal, some inner part of Jem, some part that had been lost without his even knowing it was lost, felt the pleasure of fighting together with Will one last time.
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Jem shook his head. "You bit de Quincey" he said. "You fool. He's a VAMPIRE" "I had no choice" said Will " He was choking me" "I know" Jem said. " But really Will, AGAIN?
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When Will truly wants something, said Jem, quietly, when he feels something — he can break your heart.
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Tessa poked at her left incisor with her tongue. It was flat again, an ordinary tooth. "I don't understand what makes them come out like that!" "Hunger," said Jem. "Were you think about blood?" "No." "Were you thinking about eating me?" Will inquired. "No!" "No one would blame you," said Jem. "He's very annoying.
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Who am I? he whispered. For years I pretended I was other than I was, and then I gloried that I might return to the truth of myself, only to find there is no truth to return to. I was an ordinary child, and then I was a not very good man, and now I do not know how to be either of those things any longer. I do not know what I am, and when Jem is gone, there will be no one to show me.
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For five years it had been his absolute truth. Jem and Will. Will and Jem. Will Herondale lives, therefore Jem Carstairs lives also.
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Trains are great dirty smoky things," said Will. "You won't like it." Tessa was unmoved. "I won't know if I like it until I try it, will I?" "I've never swum naked in the Thames before, but I know I wouldn't like it." "But think how entertaining for sightseers," said Tessa, and she saw Jem duck his head to hide the quick flash of his grin.
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Being Jem, Tessa reflected, must be a great deal like being the owner of a thouroughbred dog that liked to bite your guests. You had to have a hand on his collar constantly.
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Sometimes," Jem said, "our lives can change so fast that the change outpaces our minds and hearts. It's those times, I think, when our lives have altered but we still long for the time before everything was altered— that is when we feel the greatest pain. I can tell you, though, from experience, you grow accustomed to it. You learn to live your new life, and you can't imagine, or even really remember, how things were before.
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Ah, said a voice from the doorway, having your annual 'everyone thinks Will is a lunatic' meeting, are you? It's biannual, said Jem. And no, this is not that meeting.
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I used to think if I married Master Jem— Sophie picked at the blanket, then looked up and smiled bleakly. You haven't broken his heart yet, have you? No, Tessa said. Just torn my own in two. I haven't broken his heart at all.
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Reparations, said Jem very suddenly, setting down the pen he was holding. Will looked at him in puzzlement. Is this a game? We just blurt out whatever word comes next to mind? In that case mine is 'genuphobia'. It means an unreasonable fear of knees. What's the word for a perfectly reasonable fear of annoying idiots? inquired Jessamine.
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Quote of the day
It is better to meet danger than to wait for it. He that is on a lee shore, and foresees a hurricane, stands out to sea and encounters a storm to avoid a shipwreck.
Charles Caleb Colton
Cassandra Clare
Creative Commons
Born:
July 27, 1973
(age 51)
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