Carl Hiaasen - Human Quotes

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That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a romp. What else could there possibly be to life? Eating was a thrill. Pissing was a treat. Shitting was a joy. And licking your own balls? Bliss. And everywhere you went were gullible humans who patted and hugged and fussed over you.

Carl Hiaasen

If you picked the headlines from the five largest newspapers in Florida every day, you could make a very solid case that the human race was slipping backward into the primal ooze.

Carl Hiaasen

When I go out and give speeches, the title of my speech is "The Case Against Intelligent Design." And I base it strictly on what I've observed here in Florida, which is that the human race is actually de-evolving, that we are moving backward on the evolutionary scale.

Carl Hiaasen

Miami... the floating-human-body-parts capital of America.

Carl Hiaasen