Caitlin Moran Quotes

34 Sourced Quotes

What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are.

Caitlin Moran
Never feel this bad again. Never come back to this place, where only a knife will do. Live a gentle and kind life. Don't do things that make you want to hurt yourself.

Caitlin Moran
The world is difficult and we are all breakable. So just be kind.

Caitlin Moran
But nearly every woman I know has a roughly similar story - in fact, dozens of them: stories about being obsessed with a celebrity, work colleague or someone they vaguely knew for years; living in a parallel world in their head; conjuring up endless plots and scenarios for this thing that never actually happened.

Caitlin Moran
A C-3PO made of ham. His resemblance to a slightly camp gammon robot is extraordinary.
On David Cameron

Caitlin Moran
When a woman says, 'I have nothing to wear!', what she really means is, 'There's nothing here for who I'm supposed to be today.

Caitlin Moran
In my family, my fat family, none of us ever say the word 'fat.' 'Fat' is the word you hear shouted on the playground or in the street - it's never allowed over the threshold of the house. My mum won't have that filth in her house. At home together, we are safe.... There will be no harm to our feelings here because we never acknowledge fat exists. We never refer to our size. We are the elephants in the room.

Caitlin Moran
It's always sunny above the clouds. Always. Every day on earth - every day I have ever had - was secretly sunny, after all.

Caitlin Moran
Why on earth have I, because I'm a woman, got to be nice to everyone?

Caitlin Moran
A 'sign of weakness' for a male celebrity is being found to be unfaithful, or unkind to an employee, or having crashed their car while stoned out of their tiny minds. A 'sign of weakness' for a woman, on the other hand, can be a single, unflattering picture.

Caitlin Moran
Always remember that, nine times out of ten, you probably aren't having a full-on nervous breakdown – you just need a cup of tea and a biscuit. You'd be amazed how easily and repeatedly you can confuse the two. Get a big biscuit tin.

Caitlin Moran
If you can find a frock you look nice in and can run up three flights of stairs, you're not fat.

Caitlin Moran
There is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, "You are a poo.

Caitlin Moran
Feminism has had exactly the same problem that "political correctness" has had: people keep using the phrase without really knowing what it means.

Caitlin Moran
I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit.

Caitlin Moran
You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise

Caitlin Moran
Any action a woman engages in from a spirit of joy, and within a similarly safe and joyous environment, falls within the city-walls of feminism. A girl has a right to dance how she wants, when her favourite record comes on.

Caitlin Moran
You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening.

Caitlin Moran
When Rudy Giuliani became mayor of New York in 1993, his belief in the 'Broken Windows' theory led him to implement the 'Zero Tolerance' crime policy. Crime dropped dramatically, significantly, and continued to for the next ten years. Personally, I feel the time has come for women to introduce their own Zero Tolerance policy on the Broken Windows issues in our lives - I want a Zero Tolerance policy on 'All The Patriarchal Bullshit'.

Caitlin Moran
I am fully aware of what the word 'fat' means... It's a swear word. It's a weapon. It's a sociological subspecies. It's an accusation, dismissal, and rejection.

Caitlin Moran
A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination.

Caitlin Moran
It's really best not to tell people when you feel bad. Growing up is about keeping secrets, and pretending everything is fine.

Caitlin Moran
Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.

Caitlin Moran
When I hear women talking about how their wedding is going to be/was the best day of their life, I can't help but think, You just haven't taken enough MDMA in a field at 3 a.m., love.

Caitlin Moran
For throughout history, you can read the stories of women who - against all the odds - got being a woman right, but ended up being compromised, unhappy, hobbled or ruined, because all around them, society was still wrong. Show a girl a pioneering hero - Sylvia Plath, Dorothy Parker, Frida Kahlo, Cleopatra, Boudicca, Joan of Arc - and you also, more often than not, show a girl a woman who was eventually crushed.

Caitlin Moran