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For peace of mind, I will lie about any thing at any time.
Amy Hempel
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In my head there's a broken balcony I fall off of when I speak.
Amy Hempel
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The motto of this agency is We Never Knowingly Ruin Your Vacation.
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I moved through the days like a severed head that finishes a sentence.
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They say the smart dog obeys but the smarter dog knows when to disobey.
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He could not wait to get rid of them so he could enjoy remembering them.
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We can only die in the future, I thought; right now we are always alive.
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I thought, my love is so good, why isn't it calling the same thing back.
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Just because you have stopped sinking doesn't mean you're not still underwater.
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Just once in my life—oh, when have I ever wanted anything just once in my life?
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He's a real teenager of a dog — if Boris didn't have whiskers, he'd have pimples.
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A love affair begins with a fantasy. For instance, that the beloved will always be there.
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My job... I do nothing, it pays nothing, but — you guessed it — it's better than nothing.
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It is possible to imagine a person so entirely that the image resists attempts to dislodge it.
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The year I began to say vahz instead of vase, a man I barely knew nearly accidentally killed me.
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I meet a person, and in my mind I'm saying three minutes; I give you three minutes to show me the spark.
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The only time the word baby doesn't scare me is the time that it should, when it is what a man calls me.
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Look at me. My concerns-are they spiritual, do you think, or carnal? Come on. We've read our Shakespeare.
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I don't get used to living at the beach, to seeing that wet horizon. It's the edge, the country's aisle seat.
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What I think," Chatty says, "is that if a man loves a woman more than a woman loves a man, then they're even.
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I exaggerated even before I began to exaggerate, because it's true — nothing is ever quite as bad as it could be.
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I think you would like Warren. He drinks Courvoisier in a Coke can, and has a laugh like you'd find in a cartoon bubble.
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The worst of it is over now, and I can't say that I am glad. Lose that sense of loss—you have gone and lost something else.
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And I see that not touching for so long was a drive to the beach with the windows rolled up so the waves feel that much colder.
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Since his mother died I have seen him steam a cucumber thinking it was zucchini. That's the kind of thing that turns my heart right over.
Amy Hempel
Quote of the day
Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.
Dorothy L. Sayers
Amy Hempel
Born:
December 14, 1951
(age 72)
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Amy Hempel Short Quotes
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