Authors
Topics
Lists
Pictures
Resources
More about Ambrose Bierce
Ambrose Bierce -
The Devil's Dictionary (1906)
147 Sourced Quotes
View all Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Source
Report...
Zeal, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Neighbor, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Childhood, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth—two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Circus, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Callous, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Bait, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Abnormal, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Positive, adj. Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Resign, v. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Back, n. That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Politician, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Pig, n. An animal (Porcus omnivorus) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Patriotism, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Money, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it. An evidence of culture and a passport to polite society. Supportable property.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass, and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think... In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Ambrose Bierce
Source
Report...
Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
Ambrose Bierce
1
2
3
4
5
6
Quote of the day
At last, in 1611, was made, under the auspices of King James, the famous King James version; and this is the great literary monument of the English language.
Lafcadio Hearn
Ambrose Bierce
Creative Commons
Born:
June 24, 1842
Died:
December 26, 1913
(aged 71)
More about Ambrose Bierce...
Featured Authors
Lists
Predictions that didn't happen
If it's on the Internet it must be true
Remarkable Last Words (or Near-Last Words)
Picture Quotes
Confucius
Philip James Bailey
Eleanor Roosevelt
Letitia Elizabeth Landon
Popular Topics
life
love
nature
time
god
power
human
mind
work
art
heart
thought
men
day
×
Lib Quotes