Ambrose Bierce Short Quotes

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The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce
Saint, n. a dead sinner revised and edited.

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Positive, adj. Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

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Un-American, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

Ambrose Bierce
Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

Ambrose Bierce
Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

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Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

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Apologize, v. To lay the foundation for a future offense.

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In'ards, n. pl. The stomach, heart, soul, and other bowels.

Ambrose Bierce
Life, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Ambrose Bierce
Diplomacy, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Ambrose Bierce
Liberty, n. One of imagination's most precious possessions.

Ambrose Bierce
Erudition, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

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Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it.

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Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

Ambrose Bierce
HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.

Ambrose Bierce
DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

Ambrose Bierce
Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.

Ambrose Bierce
Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss".

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DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.

Ambrose Bierce
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.

Ambrose Bierce
Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

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MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.

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PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.

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ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.

Ambrose Bierce
LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

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Achievement, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

Ambrose Bierce