They say when opportunity knocks you should let it in and invite it to sit at your table. F*** that — when opportunity knocks, you should take it captive. Beat that s*** down. I've got opportunity tied to a chair in my basement with a ball gag in its mouth. Opportunity ain't even thinking about leaving my house. If you keep quiet for a second, you'll hear it whining.

I Am the New Black (ed. 2009)