Authors
Topics
Lists
Pictures
Resources
More about Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer -
That Was the Year That Was (1965)
18 Sourced Quotes
View all Tom Lehrer Quotes
Source
Report...
So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
During National Brotherhood Week various special events are arranged to drive home the message of brotherhood — this year, for example, on the first day of the week, Malcolm X was killed, which gives you an idea of how effective the whole thing is.
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another, and I know there are people in the world who do not love their fellow human beings — and I hate people like that!
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Don't say that he's hypocritical,
Say rather that he's apolitical.
"Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down?
That's not my department," says Wernher von Braun.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks,
It's American as apple pie.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
But don't panic. Base eight is just like base ten really — if you're missing two fingers.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
It's only for a week so have no fear!/
Be grateful that it doesn't last all year!
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Oh, the white folks hate the black folks,
And the black folks hate the white folks;
To hate all but the right folks
Is an old established rule.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can't stand,
You can tolerate him if you try!
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Speaking of love, one problem that recurs more and more frequently these days, in books and plays and movies, is the inability of people to communicate with the people they love: husbands and wives who can't communicate, children who can't communicate with their parents, and so on. And the characters in these books and plays and so on, and in real life, I might add, spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can't communicate. I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very least he can do is to shut up.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics
And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
And the Hindus hate the Moslems,
And everybody hates the Jews.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional.
There the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original.
If it is, try playin' it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
It's people like that who make you realize how little you've accomplished. It is a sobering thought, for example, that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
And that is the story of Alma,
Who knew how to receive and to give.
The body that reached her embalma'
Was one that had known how to live.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
Any ideas expressed on this record should not be taken as representing Mr. Lehrer's true convictions, for indeed he has none. "If anyone objects to any statement I make," he has said, "I am quite prepared not only to retract it, but also to deny under oath that I ever made it."
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
What is it that put America in the forefront of the nuclear nations? And what is it that will make it possible to spend twenty billion dollars of your money to put some clown on the moon? Well, it was good old American know how, that's what, as provided by good old Americans like Dr. Wernher von Braun!
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
I feel that if any songs are gonna come out of World War III, we'd better start writing them now.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
I do have a cause, though. It is obscenity. I'm for it.
Tom Lehrer
Source
Report...
The loveliest girl in Vienna
Was Alma, the smartest as well.
Once you picked her up on your antenna,
You'd never be free of her spell.
Tom Lehrer
Quote of the day
When they come downstairs from their Ivory Towers, Idealists are very apt to walk straight into the gutter.
Logan Pearsall Smith
Tom Lehrer
Creative Commons
Born:
April 9, 1928
(age 96)
More about Tom Lehrer...
Featured Authors
Lists
Predictions that didn't happen
If it's on the Internet it must be true
Remarkable Last Words (or Near-Last Words)
Picture Quotes
Confucius
Philip James Bailey
Eleanor Roosevelt
Letitia Elizabeth Landon
Popular Topics
life
love
nature
time
god
power
human
mind
work
art
heart
thought
men
day
×
Lib Quotes