Tom Holt Quotes

46 Sourced Quotes

'I didn't find out she was actually the Queen of the Fey until some time later. Bit of a shock, but I think we could've made a go of it, if she hadn't been so dead set on wiping out the human race.'

Tom Holt
Between the town of Giles, to the north of the Tomkinson Range, and Forrest in the Nullarbor Plain, lies the Great Victorian Desert. It is hot, arid, desolate and merciless; and whatever the Creator had in mind when He made it that way, it most certainly wasn't human beings.
It's a really awful place to be if you've got toothache. - c. 3

Tom Holt
Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I'll evolve into plankton.

Tom Holt
'Genies rarely have nightmares, for the same reason that elephants don't usually worry about being trampled underfoot. With the possible exception of bottles, there's nothing in the cosmos large enough or malicious enough to frighten them, or stupid enough to try.'

Tom Holt
There's nothing bad about reincarnation per se, it's basically a very good system, cost-effective and ecologically friendly.

Tom Holt
'The King rose slowly to his feet and beckoned to the wizard, who had been sitting outside the circle of the firelight, apparently, trying to find a spell that would make a beer-can magically refill itself.'

Tom Holt
'Jeez, for a superior intelligence, you must be just plain dumb,' he said. - c. 19

Tom Holt
'— here we go, surfing the Net again, something done by humans and very gullible fish'

Tom Holt
'Talking to yourself is a sign of madness. Talking to yourself, dead, is class.' - c. 12

Tom Holt
Boamund scratches his head. Imagine a knight by Alma-Tadema who's somehow managed to fall off the picture and is wondering how to get back in without breaking the glass. - c. 1

Tom Holt
'You want the short version. Okay, then: shit happens. Does that answer all your question? Thought not. Now, if you shut your face and let me tell this my way, we might actually get somewhere. Thank you.' -the spokesclone, pg. 319

Tom Holt
'It was irritating to have one's physical shortcomings pointed out quite so plainly twice in one evening, once by a beautiful girl and once by a dying badger.'

Tom Holt
Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms—if you don't know how to do it properly, it's best not to try.

Tom Holt
'In fact, as they will be delighted to tell you, Taunton is no longer a one-horse town
these days, they have a bicycle as well.'

Tom Holt
'That's it?' Boamund said.
'Basically, yes,' the hermit replied. 'I've left out Helmut von Moltke and the Peace of Nikolsburg, and maybe I skated over the Benelux customs union a bit, but I think you've got the essentials there. Anything you're not sure about, you can look up in the book.' - c. 1

Tom Holt
After all, what else is scientific enquiry of any sort other than a controlled version of banging one's head against the universe until something gives?

Tom Holt