One afternoon a girl walked by in a bikini and my cousin Janet scoffed, Look at the hips on her. I panicked. What about the hips? Were they too big? Too small? What were my hips? I didn't know hips could be a problem. I thought there was just fat or skinny. This was how I found out that there are an infinite number of things that can be incorrect on a woman's body.

Bossypants (ed. Reagan Arthur Books, 2011) - ISBN: 9780316175869