Tim Hawkins Quotes

3 Sourced Quotes

Lazy technology: the electric toothbrush—that always made me laugh. The electric toothbrush—what, is brushing your teeth too strenuous an exercise? For some people? You got people going [imitates fast, strenuous brushing of teeth]. "Man, I am really feeling the burn here. Wish this thing had a motor on it." Why don't you just have electric deodorant? [imitates use of electric deoderant]

Tim Hawkins

Y'all ever seen these commercials for these pills, this medication you take? It's like one pill for one thing, but they list, like, a hundred side effects? It's just like they're just scrolling for a minute. And you're thinkin, "Is that really a good trade? That can't be a good trade." You got people going, "Well, I can take the headaches, nausea, and vomiting, if it'll make my elbow feel better. It's really worth it—it is. I mean I've been taking it—Oh, oww! Owww! I can move it around, play with the kids, and—[pretends to vomit]. I've got full range of motion here."

Tim Hawkins

I've noticed the people most uptight about smokers and drinkers don't really have a problem with gluttony and gossip.

Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins

Creative Commons

Born: March 30, 1968 (age 56)

Bio: Timothy Aaron Tim Hawkins is a Christian comedian, songwriter, and singer, best known for parodying popular songs such as Carrie Underwood's Jesus, Take The Wheel, Kansas's Dust in the Wind, and The Candy Man, along with stand-up material based on topics such as marriage, homeschooling, and parenting.

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