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This is the autumn of wonders, yet every day, every single day, I go back to that burned afternoon in August when T. Ray left. I go back to that one moment when I stood in the driveway with small rocks and clumps of dirt around my feet and looked back at the porch. And there they were. All these mothers. I have more mothers than any eight girls off the street. They are the moons shining over me.
Sue Monk Kidd
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One day I will have to forgive life for ending, I tell myself. I will have to learn how to let life be life with its unbearable finality... just be what it is.
Sue Monk Kidd
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To remain silent in the face of evil is itself a form of evil.
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How could I choose someone who would force me to give up my own small reach for meaning? I chose myself, and without consolation.
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A roach is a creature no one can love, but you cannot kill it. It will go on and on and on. Just try to get rid of it.
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"Why is it sports is the only thing white people see us being successful at? I don't want to play football," he said. "I wanna be a lawyer." "That's fine with me," I said, a little annoyed. "I've just never heard of a Negro lawyer, that's all. You've got to hear of these things before you can imagine them." "Bullshit. You gotta imagine what's never been."
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People don't realize how smart bees are, evensmarter than dolphins. Bees know enough geometry to make row after row of perfect hexagons, angles so accurate you'd think they used rulers.
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I said, "If I was a Negro girl-" He placed his fingers across my lips so I tasted his saltiness. "We can't think of changing our skin," he said. "Change the world-that's how we gotta think."
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I'd forgotten how that sort of craving felt, how it rose suddenly and loudly from the pit of my stomach like a flock of startle birds, then floated back down in the slow, beguiling way of feathers.
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I sit in my new room and write everything down. My heart never stops talking.
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Standing there, I loved myself and I hated myself. That's what the black Mary did to me, made me feel my glory and my shame at the same time.
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It was the oldest sound there was. Souls flying away.
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My children have always existed at the deepest center of me, right there in the heart/hearth, but I struggled with the powerful demands of motherhood, chafing sometimes at the way they pulled me away from my separate life, not knowing how to balance them with my unwieldy need for solitude and creative expression.
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A spiritual pilgrim needs to discern when his or her life is stunted in an old field and find the courage and determination to go to a "new land" that the Lord will show. (Abraham-Journey)...so that you can find the wholeness you seek.
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I realized it for the first time in my life: there is nothing but mystery in the world, how it hides behind the fabric of our poor, browbeat days, shining brightly, and we don't even know it.
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You have to know when to prod and when to be quiet, when to let things take their course.
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It only meant that my natural inclination was to draw my "energy" from within instead of seeking it outside myself, plus my mom was an introvcert, and so were a lot of normal people. The problem was I was shy on top of that. And we all know how the world loves a shy introvert.
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Most people don't have any idea about all the complicated life going on inside a hive. Bees have a secret life we don't know anything about.
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After you get stung, you can't get unstung no matter how much you whine about it.
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Every living creature on the earth is special. You want to be the one that puts an end to one of them?
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Where had I been that I didn't know about imaginary friends? I could see the point of it. How a lost part of yourself steps out and reminds you who you could be with a little work.
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At night I would lie in bed and watch the show, how bees squeezed through the cracks of my bedroom wall and flew circles around the room, making that propeller sound, a high-pitched zzzzzz that hummed along my skin. I watched their wings shining like bits of chrome in the dark and felt the longing build in my chest. The way those bees flew, not even looking for a flower, just flying for the feel of the wind, split my heart down its seam.
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Gazing into the mirror, I saw myself as I was-a black silhouette in the room, a woman whose darkness had completely leaked through.
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When had my fear of broken plates gotten so grandiose? My desire for extravagant moments so small?
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There was nothing I hated worse than clumps of whispering girls who got quiet when I passed. I started picking scabs off my body and, when I didn't have any, gnawing the flesh around my fingernails until I was a bleeding wreck. I worried so much about how I looked and whether I was doing things right, I felt half the time I was impersonating a girl instead of really being me.
Sue Monk Kidd
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Quote of the day
Chaos is a name for any order that produces confusion in our minds.
George Santayana
Sue Monk Kidd
Born:
August 12, 1948
(age 75)
Bio:
Sue Monk Kidd is a writer from the Southern United States, best known for her novel, The Secret Life of Bees.
Known for:
The Secret Life of Bees (2001)
The Invention of Wings (2014)
When the heart waits (1990)
The Mermaid Chair (2005)
The dance of the dissident daughter (1996)
Most used words:
life
time
people
die
heart
love
god
place
live
truth
woman
night
wanted
felt
forgive
Sue Monk Kidd on Wikipedia
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