Sara Gruen - Water for Elephants (2006)

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Hey! Shouts Camel. There ain't no woman in the world worth two bottles of whiskey!

Sara Gruen
The whole thing's illusion, [Jacob], and there's nothing wrong with that. It's what people want from us. It's what they expect.

Sara Gruen
When will people learn that just because you can make something doesn't mean you should?

Sara Gruen
I just can't. I'm married. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it.

Sara Gruen
Keeping up the appearance of having all your marbles is hard work, but important.

Sara Gruen
Dear God. Not only am I unemployed and homeless, but I also have a pregnant woman, bereaved dog, elephant, and eleven horses to take care of.

Sara Gruen
Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that.

Sara Gruen
When two people are meant to be together, they will be together. It's fate.

Sara Gruen
Then I lie down on the horse blanket and drift into a dream about Marlena that will probably cost me my soul.

Sara Gruen
It's as though I've been sleepwalking and suddenly woken to find myself here

Sara Gruen
I scan the room. Catherine is writing quickly, her light brown hair falling over her face. She is left-handed, and because she writes in pencil her left arm is silver from wrist to elbow.

Sara Gruen
The thought has cheered me, and I'd like to hang onto that. Must protect my little pockets of happiness.

Sara Gruen
But it all zipped by. One minute Marlena and I were up to our eyeballs, and the next thing we knew the kids were borrowing the car and fleeing the coop for college. And now, here I am. In my nineties and alone.

Sara Gruen
He stares at me, and then leans back in his chair. "He's ill, Jacob." I say nothing. "He's a paragon schnitzophonic." "He's what?!" "Paragon schnitzophonic," repeats Uncle Al. "You mean paranoid schizophrenic?" "Sure. Whatever. But the bottom line is he's mad as a hatter...

Sara Gruen
With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.

Sara Gruen
I strain to hear, but my old ears, for all their obscene hugeness, pick up nothing but snippets:

Sara Gruen
I hate this bizarre policy of protective exclusion, because it effectively writes me off the page.

Sara Gruen
A gaggle of old ladies is glued to the window at the end of the hall like children or jailbirds. They're spidery and frail, their hair as fine as mist. Most of them are a good decade younger than me, and this astounds me. Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.--There are five of them now, white headed old things huddled together and pointing crooked fingers at the glass.

Sara Gruen
I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin. I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell.

Sara Gruen
All right. Let's give you something to tell your grandkids about. Or great-grandkids. Or great-great-grandkids." I snort with glee, delirious with excitement. Charlie winks and pours me another finger's worth of whiskey. Then, on second thought, he tips the bottle again. I reach out and grab its neck. "Better not," I say. "Don't want to get tipsy and break a hip.

Sara Gruen
I stare at her for a long moment. I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

Sara Gruen
Age is a terrible thief. Just when you're getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back. It makes you ache and muddies your head and silently spreads cancer throughout your spouse.

Sara Gruen
After sixty-one years together, she simply clutched my hand and exhaled.

Sara Gruen
Is where you're from the place you're leaving or where you have roots?

Sara Gruen
I used to think I preferred getting old to the alternative, but now I'm not sure. Sometimes the monotony of bingo and sing-alongs and ancient dusty people parked in the hallway in wheelchairs makes me long for death. Particularly when I remember that I'm one of the ancient dusty people, filed away like some worthless tchotchke.

Sara Gruen