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Robert Benchley Short Quotes
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One square foot less and it would be adulterous.
Robert Benchley
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I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
Robert Benchley
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Often Daddy sat up very late working on a case of Scotch.
Robert Benchley
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The atom is composed of little pieces of old pocket lint.
Robert Benchley
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Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.
Robert Benchley
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Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Robert Benchley
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If only those old walls could talk...how boring they would be.
Robert Benchley
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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
Robert Benchley
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
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The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley
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I feel as young as I ever did, apart from the occasional heart attack.
Robert Benchley
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The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
Robert Benchley
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
Robert Benchley
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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
Robert Benchley
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
Robert Benchley
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You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
Robert Benchley
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Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800.
Robert Benchley
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Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.
Robert Benchley
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
Robert Benchley
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
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If you think you have caught a cold, call a good doctor. Call in three doctors and play bridge.
Robert Benchley
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The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
Robert Benchley
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It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.
Robert Benchley
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Robert Benchley
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I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley
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A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
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Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Robert Benchley
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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
Robert Benchley
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There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.
Robert Benchley
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley
Quote of the day
Nobody ever did anything very foolish except from some strong principle.
William Lamb, 2nd Viscount Melbourne
Robert Benchley
Creative Commons
Born:
September 15, 1889
Died:
November 21, 1945
(aged 56)
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