Robert Benchley Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

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One square foot less and it would be adulterous.

Robert Benchley
I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

Robert Benchley
Often Daddy sat up very late working on a case of Scotch.

Robert Benchley
The atom is composed of little pieces of old pocket lint.

Robert Benchley
Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

Robert Benchley
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Robert Benchley
If only those old walls could talk...how boring they would be.

Robert Benchley
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Robert Benchley
The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

Robert Benchley
I feel as young as I ever did, apart from the occasional heart attack.

Robert Benchley
The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Robert Benchley
Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.

Robert Benchley
We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

Robert Benchley
All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.

Robert Benchley
You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.

Robert Benchley
Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800.

Robert Benchley
Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

Robert Benchley
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley
If you think you have caught a cold, call a good doctor. Call in three doctors and play bridge.

Robert Benchley
The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

Robert Benchley
It is rather to be chosen than great riches, unless I have omitted something from the quotation.

Robert Benchley
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.

Robert Benchley
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Robert Benchley
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Robert Benchley
There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.

Robert Benchley
There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

Robert Benchley