Robert A. Heinlein - Stranger in a Strange Land (1961)

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The ordinary bloke will not voluntarily pay for "art" that leaves him unmoved--if he does pay for it, the money has to be conned out of him, by taxes and such.

Robert A. Heinlein
Never trust machinery more complicated than a knife and fork.

Robert A. Heinlein
Democracy's worst fault is that its leaders are likely to reflect the faults and virtues of their constituents.

Robert A. Heinlein
We came here for a small, informal meeting. We find you've turned it into a circus. Well, if you're going to have a circus, you've got to have elephants.

Robert A. Heinlein
It's a long story. Want a refill?" "No, let's start the steak. Where's the button?" "Right here." "Well, push it." "Me? You offered to cook." "Ben Caxton, I will lie here and starve before I will get up to push a button six inches from your finger" "As you wish." He pressed the button. "But don't forget who cooked dinner.

Robert A. Heinlein
Being sorry won't get you into heaven. Get happy, son. Get that old spring into your step and stay on your toes.

Robert A. Heinlein
Oh, you have to charge 'em, Jubal. The marks won't pay attention if it's free.

Robert A. Heinlein
Talking with a Martian is something like talking with an echo. You don't get any argument but you don't get results either.

Robert A. Heinlein
Democracy is a poor system of government at best; the only thing that can honestly be said in its favor is that it is eight times as good as any other method the human race has ever tried.

Robert A. Heinlein
I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much... because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.

Robert A. Heinlein
I do know that the slickest way to lie is to tell the right amount of truth—then shut up.

Robert A. Heinlein
People simplify 'Apollonian' into 'mild', and 'calm', and 'cool'. But 'Apollonian' and 'Dionysian' are two sides of one coin—a nun kneeling in her cell, holding perfectly still, can be in ecstacy more frenzied than any priestess of Pan Priapus celebrating the vernal equinox.

Robert A. Heinlein
Most neuroses and some psychoses can be traced to the unnecessary and unhealthy habit of daily wallowing in the troubles and sins of five billion strangers.

Robert A. Heinlein
Death isn't funny." "Then why are there so many jokes about death? Jill, with us — us humans — death is so sad that we must laugh at it.

Robert A. Heinlein
ONCE UPON A TIME when the world was young there was a Martian named Smith.
Valentine Michael Smith was as real as taxes but he was a race of one.

Robert A. Heinlein
English is capable of defining sentiments that the human nervous system is quite incapable of experiencing.

Robert A. Heinlein
Government! Three fourths parasitic and the other fourth Stupid fumbling.

Robert A. Heinlein
The Universe was a silly place at best...but the least likely explanation for it was the no-explanation of random chance, the conceit that abstract somethings 'just happened' to be atoms that 'just happened' to get together in ways which 'just happened' to look like consistent laws and some configurations 'just happened' to possess self-awareness and that two 'just happened' to be the Man from Mars and a bald-headed old coot with Jubal inside.

Robert A. Heinlein
Yes, Boss?' Dorcas, the last twenty or thirty years I've been a worthless, no-good parasite.' She yawned again. 'Everybody knows that.' Nevermind the flattery. There comes a time in every man's life when he has to stop being sensible—a time to stand up and be counted—strike a blow for liberty—smite the wicked.' Ummm...' So quit yawning, the time has come.' She glanced down. 'Maybe I had better get dressed.

Robert A. Heinlein
Random chance was not a sufficient explanation of the Universe—in fact, random chance was not sufficient to explain random chance; the pot could not hold itself.

Robert A. Heinlein
Many older physicians had gone to their graves calling Pasteur a liar, a fool, or worse—and without examining evidence which their common sense told them was impossible.

Robert A. Heinlein
It would take centuries and he must grow and grow and grow, but he was in no hurry—he grokked that Eternity and the ever-beautifully-changing Now were identical.

Robert A. Heinlein
First you must learn to control your self. The rest follows. Blessed is he who knows himself and commands himself, for the world is his and love and happiness and peace walk with him wherever he goes.

Robert A. Heinlein
He's as weird as snake's suspenders but sweet as a stolen kiss, too.

Robert A. Heinlein
Long human words (the longer the better) were easy, unmistakable, and rarely changed their meanings... but short words were slippery, unpredictable, changing their meanings without any pattern.

Robert A. Heinlein
Ben, the ethics of sex is a thorny problem. Each of us is forced to grope for a solution he can live with — in the face of a preposterous, unworkable, and evil code of so-called "morals." Most of us know the code is wrong; almost everybody breaks it. But we pay Danegeld by feeling guilty and giving lip service. Willy-nilly, the code rides us, dead and stinking, an albatross around the neck.
You, too, Ben. You fancy yourself a free soul — and break that evil code. But faced with a problem in sexual ethics new to you, you tested it against that same Judeo-Christian code... so automatically your stomach did flip-flops... and you think that proves you're right and they're wrong. Faugh! I'd as lief use trial by ordeal.

Robert A. Heinlein
I never do anything I don't want to do. Nor does anyone, but in my case I am always aware of it.

Robert A. Heinlein
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often confuses one for the other, or assumes the greater the love, the greater the jealousy. In fact they are almost incompatible; both at once produce unbearable turmoil.

Robert A. Heinlein
Daughters can spend ten percent more than a man can make in any usual occupation. That's a law of nature, to be known henceforth as 'Harshaw's Law.

Robert A. Heinlein
My dear, I used to think I was serving humanity... and I pleasured in the thought. Then I discovered that humanity does not want to be served; on the contrary it resents any attempt to serve it. So now I do what pleases myself.

Robert A. Heinlein