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Rainbow Rowell -
Eleanor & Park (2012)
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It's our last chance. No. No, I can't... I, no, I need to believe that it isn't our last chance... Eleanor? Can you hear me? I need you to believe it, too.
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I'm afraid," Professor Piper said, "afraid that you're never going to discover what you're truly capable of. That you won't get to see-that I won't get to see-any of the wonder that's inside of you.
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It was the nicest thing she could imagine. It made her want to have his babies and give him both of her kidneys.
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I miss you, Eleanor. I want to be with you all the time. You're the smartest girl I've ever met, and the funniest, and everything you do surprises me. And I wish I could say that those are the reasons I like you, because that would make me sound like a really evolved human being …'But I think it's got as much to do with your hair being red and your hands being soft … and the fact that you smell like homemade birthday cake
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Eleanor's hair caught fire at dawn. Her eyes were dark and shining, and his arms were sure of her. The first time he touched her hand, he'd known.
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He tried to remember how this happened – how she went from someone he'd never met to the only one who mattered.
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You think that holding someone hard will bring them closer. You think that you can hold them so hard that you'll still feel them, embossed on you, when you pull away. Every time Eleanor pulled away from Park, she felt the gasping loss of him.
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There was something about the music on that tape. It felt different. Like, it set her lungs and her stomach on edge. There was something exciting about it, and something nervous. It made Eleanor feel like everything, like the world, wasn't what she'd thought it was. And that was a good thing. That was the greatest thing.
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I look like a hobo?" "Worse," he said. "Like a sad hobo clown." "And you like it?" "I love it." As soon as he said it, she broke into a smile. And when Eleanor smiled, something broke inside of him. Something always did.
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Hey,' he said. It came out hard and frustrated. 'I told you to smile because you're pretty when you smile.' She walked to the bottom of the steps, then looked back at him. 'It'd be better if you thought I was pretty when I don't.
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Then Park reached up and wrapped one of her red curls around his honey finger. "Back to missing you," he said, letting it go.
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And his eyes were so green they could turn carbon dioxide into oxygen.
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Levi's eyebrows were pornographic. If Cath were making this decision just on eyebrows, she would have been "up to his room" a long time ago.
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Until this moment, she'd kept Park in a place in her head that she thought Richie couldn't get to. Completely separate from this house and everything that happened here. (It was a pretty awesome place. Like the only part of her head fit for praying.)
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Eleanor, he said, just because he liked saying it, why do you like me? I don't like you. He waited. And waited… Then he started to laugh. You're kind of mean, he said. Don't laugh. It just encourages me.
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This is new to us, you know? Your mother's sorry. She's sorry that she hurt your feelings, and she wants you to invite your girlfriend over for dinner." "So that she can make her feel bad and weird?" "Well she is kind of weird, isn't she?" Park didn't have the energy to be angry. He sighed and let his head fall back on the chair. His dad kept talking. "Isn't that why you like her?
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I want everyone to meet you. You're my favorite person of all time.
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You can be Han Solo," he said, kissing her throat. "And I'll be Boba Fett. I'll cross the sky for you.
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And because I'm so out of control, I can't help myself. I'm not even mine anymore, I'm yours, and what if you decide that you don't want me? How could you want me like I want you?
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Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.
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He looked exactly like a rat. Like the human being version of a rat. Like the villain in a Don Bluth movie.
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Ophelia was bonkers, right? And Juliet was what, a sixth-grader?
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Maybe he was Filipino. Was that in Asia? Probably. Asia's out-of-control huge.
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But the explanations fell apart in her hands. Everything true was too hard to write—he was too much to lose. Everything she felt for him was too hot to touch.
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She saw him after seventh hour in a place she'd never seen him before, carrying a microscope down the hall on the third floor. It was at least twice as nice as seeing him somewhere she expected him to be.
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Dumb. He should have gotten the pen. Jewelry was so public... and personal, which was why he'd bought it. He couldn't buy Eleanor a pen. Or a bookmark. He didn't have bookmarklike feelings for her.
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Holding Eleanor's hand was like holding a butterfly. Or a heartbeat. Like holding something complete, and completely alive.
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Don't bite his face, Eleanor told herself. It's disturbing and needy and never happens in situation comedies or movies that end with big kisses.
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If you don't want people to look at you, Park had thought at the time, don't wear fishing lures in your hair. Her jewelry box must look like a junk drawer.
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She didn't want to run, period. It made her breasts feel like they were going to detach from her body.
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When the moon is in the seventh house, And Jupiter aligns with Mars, Then peace will guide the planets, And love will steer the stars; This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.
James Rado
Rainbow Rowell
Born:
February 24, 1973
(age 51)
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