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My plastic surgeon... said my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.
Phyllis Diller
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All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.
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We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
Phyllis Diller
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Every word she writes is a lie, including 'and' and 'the'.
Mary McCarthy
Phyllis Diller
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Born:
July 17, 1917
Died:
August 20, 2012
(aged 95)
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