Patrick F. McManus - A fine and pleasant misery (1978)

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Most mountain men died off back in the nineteenth century, once again displaying their uncommon good sense.

Patrick F. McManus
The know-it-all is now listed as a threatened species. I myself have threatened a large number of them and, on occasion, have even endangered a few.

Patrick F. McManus
Housing developments are a great boon to camping, since they make such fine places to get away from.

Patrick F. McManus
It is best, if one is a panicker, to get the panic out of the system as quickly as possible.

Patrick F. McManus
It was against his principle, he only had one, to ever be caught more than an hour's distance away from a food supply.

Patrick F. McManus
If a kid accidentally triggers an old man, he is liable to get his vocabulary peppered with colorful expressions that will send his mother into shock the first time one tumbles off his tender lips.

Patrick F. McManus
Every so often I read an article on how to survive when lost in the wilds, and I have to laugh. The experts who write these pieces know everything about survival but next to nothing about getting lost. I am an expert on getting lost.

Patrick F. McManus
Once in a seventh-grade English class I stumbled into a nest of dangling participles.

Patrick F. McManus
Hardship on a modern camping trip is blowing a fuse on your electric underwear, or having the battery peter out on your Porta-Shaver.

Patrick F. McManus
The other morning I was staring vacantly out the window, a hobby I personally find more entertaining than, say, stamp collecting or golf.

Patrick F. McManus
City planners have shown beyond doubt that old orchards, meadows, and pine woods, which once threatened the outskirts of many of our towns and cities, can be successfully eradicated by constructing a housing development on top of them.

Patrick F. McManus
I am no more incompetent or susceptible to trouble than the average person, no matter what my friends might say.

Patrick F. McManus
Eventually I grew up, a fact that surprised many of our neighbors, some of whom lost good money betting against that likelihood.

Patrick F. McManus