Lily Tomlin Short Quotes

25 Sourced Quotes

View all Lily Tomlin Quotes
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

Lily Tomlin
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.

Lily Tomlin
There will be sex after death; we just won't be able to feel it.

Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Lily Tomlin
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it....

Lily Tomlin
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Lily Tomlin
If the formula for water is H2O, is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?

Lily Tomlin
If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done?

Lily Tomlin
I've seen these women all my life, I know how they walk, I know how they talk...

Lily Tomlin
It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

Lily Tomlin
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework

Lily Tomlin
I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.

Lily Tomlin
All my life I've wanted to be somebody. But now I see I should have been more specific.
Tomlin speaking as an ineffectual aerobics instructor

Lily Tomlin
When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading.

Lily Tomlin
All my life, I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

Lily Tomlin
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.

Lily Tomlin
If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less.

Lily Tomlin
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

Lily Tomlin
Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying — but when God talks to us, we're said to be schizophrenic?

Lily Tomlin
If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.

Lily Tomlin
Interviewer: You once said you had a drug problem...
Lily: Yeah, I still do. It's so hard to find good grass these days.

Lily Tomlin