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Oh, I've a love, a true, true love, who waits upon yon shore... and if my love won't be my love, then I will live no more...
Libba Bray
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Will was making a speech, something about having been young and careless once, the sort of thing old-timers said when they issued a deathblow, as if they thought their sanctimonious ramblings disguised as empathy would be welcomed, but Evie was only half listening.
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In a world beyond this one, that river goes on singing sweetly, enchanting us with what we want to hear, shaping what we need to see in order to keep going. In those waters, all disappointments are forgotten, our mistakes forgiven. Gazing into them, we see a strong father. A loving mother. Warm rooms where we are sheltered, adored, wanted. And the uncertainty of our futures is nothing more than the fog of breath on a windowpane.
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There was something about the island that made the girls forget who they had been. All those rules and shalt nots. They were no longer waiting for some arbitrary grade. They were no longer performing. Waiting. Hoping. They were becoming. They were.
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What took you so long? Will asked when Evie came panting into the room. He and Jericho had assembled a stack of books, which they were tucking into Will's attaché case. I walked to Jerusalem for the Bible. I knew you'd want an original, Evie snapped.
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Theta blew out another plume of cigarette smoke. Not interested. Love's messy, kiddo. Let those other girls get moony-eyed and goofy. Me? I got plans.
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I know it. I know I shall make beastly mistakes, Father-" "The world does not forgive mistakes so quickly, my girl." He sounds bitter and sad. "If the world will not forgive me," I say softly, "I shall have to learn to forgive myself." He nods in understanding. "And how will you marry? Or do you intend to marry?" I think of Kartik, and tears threaten. "I shall meet someone one day, as Mother found you.
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Next time we see you, you'll be on trial for some ingenious crime! Dottie said with a laugh. Evie grinned. Just as long as they know my name.
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The glow dies down, and she's standing at the end of my bed—the one who's been following me around leaving feather messages. I take in the torn fishnets, plaid mini-kilt, shiny, riveted breastplate with leather straps at the sides and a worn Great Temolo decal near the left shoulder. Her wings are a crazy black-and-white-checkered pattern, like they've been spray-painted at a body shop to look like hipster sneakers.
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I will tell you the story of how we found ourselves in a realm where dreams are formed, destiny is chosen, and magic is as real as a handprint in the snow.
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There is an ancient tribal proverb I once heard in India. It says that before we can see properly we must first shed our tears to clear the way.
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It's as if I've inherited a skin I cannot quite fit, and so I walk about constantly pulling and and tugging, pinning and pruning, trying desperately to fill it out, hoping that no one will look at me struggling and say, 'That one there- she's a fraud, Look how she doesn't fit at all.
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There are times when I wish I could go back and change the course of my life. Make different choices...But the past cannot be changed, and we carry our choices with us, forward, into the unknown. We can only move on. Do you remember that I told you that at Spence?
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No one had ever said anything like that to Evie. Her parents always wanted to advise or instruct or command. They were good people, but they needed the world to bend to them, to fit into their order of things. Evie had never really quite fit, and when she tried, she'd just pop back out, like a doll squeezed into a too-small box.
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But what was the point of living so quietly you made no noise at all?
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Power changes everything till it is difficult to say who are the heroes and who the villains.
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Really? And what curse befalls the Adams of the world?" Ann opens her mouth and, presumably thinking of nothing to say, closes it again. It is Felicity who answers, eyes steely. "They are weak to temptation. And we are their temptresses.
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Hot off the presses, today's headlines: The love of your life does not approve of my wanton flapper ways, Evie said in a voice of affected mystery. Really, Mabesie. You might want to reconsider—he is a bit of a killjoy.
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She knew what it was to wait for someone who would never come home. She knew that grief, like a scar, faded but never really went away.
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I've been poked and prodded in places I'd always prided myself on keeping untouched for that one special doctor who gives me a ring and a promise someday.
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My favorite word is "redemption." I like both its meaning and the sound. My least favorite word is "maybe." "Maybe" is almost always a "no" drawn out in cruel fashion.
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There is never any turning back Gemma. You have to go forward. Make the future yours.
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Naughty John, Naughty John, does his work with his apron on. Cuts your throat and takes your bones, sells 'em off for a coupla stones.
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The best day of my life happened when I was five and almost died at Disney World. I'm sixteen now, so you can imagine that's left me with quite a few days of major suckage.
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The night's chilly breath tickles up my neck and finds my ear, whispering secrets only the wind knows.
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I will never, ever drink whiskey again. From now on, it's strictly sherry.
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Harold Brodie is a louse and a lothario who cheats at cards and has a different girl in his rumble seat every week. That coupe of his is pos-i-tute-ly a petting palace. And he's a terrible kisser to boot. Evie's parents stared in stunned silence. Or so I've heard.
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If this were a movie, I would bust a secret move so fierce the entire place would be razed to the ground. I'd finish with something snappy like "And don't forget my soda, punk" while I strolled off into the night.
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I'm like everyone else in this stupid, bloody, amazing world. I'm flawed. Impossibly so. But hopeful. I'm still me.
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I hate high heels. Walking in high heels for eight hours a day should be forbidden by the Geneva Convention.
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Quote of the day
There is a marvelous turn and trick to British arrogance; its apparent unconsciousness makes it twice as effectual.
Catherine Drinker Bowen
Libba Bray
Creative Commons
Born:
March 11, 1964
(age 60)
Bio:
Libba Bray is an American writer of young adult novels including the Gemma Doyle Trilogy, Going Bovine, and The Diviners.
Known for:
The Diviners (2012)
A Great and Terrible Beauty (2003)
Beauty Queens (2011)
Gemma Doyle Trilogy (2010)
Lair of Dreams (2015)
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