Lewis Carroll - Through the Looking-Glass (1871)

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Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe.

Lewis Carroll
And ever, as the story drained The wells of fancy dry, And faintly strove that weary one To put the subject by, "The rest next time—" "It is next time!" The Happy voice cry. Thus grew the tale of Wonderland

Lewis Carroll
In another moment Alice was through the glass, and had jumped lightly down into the Looking-glass room.

Lewis Carroll
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came.
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

Lewis Carroll
'There's glory for you!' 'I don't know what you mean by glory,' Alice said. 'I meant, there's a nice knock-down argument for you! ' 'But glory doesn't mean a nice knock-down argument,' Alice objected. 'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said in a rather scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.'

Lewis Carroll
And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be?

Lewis Carroll
'When I make a word do a lot of work like that,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'I always pay it extra.'

Lewis Carroll
Do you know, I always thought unicorns were fabulous monsters, too? I never saw one alive before!" Well, now that we have seen each other," said the unicorn, "if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.

Lewis Carroll
"The horror of that moment," the King went on, "I shall never, never forget!" "You will, though," the Queen said, "if you don't make a memorandum of it."

Lewis Carroll
Speak in French when you can't think of the English for a thing — turn out your toes when you walk — and remember who you are!

Lewis Carroll
'If seven maids with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose,' the Walrus said,
'That they could get it clear?'
'I doubt it,' said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

Lewis Carroll
But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one's whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried, Come, tell me how you live!
And thumped him on the head.

Lewis Carroll
'I can repeat poetry as well as other folk if it comes to that—' 'Oh, it needn't come to that!' Alice hastily said.

Lewis Carroll
"It's very good jam," said the Queen. "Well, I don't want any to-day, at any rate." "You couldn't have it if you did want it," the Queen said. "The rule is jam tomorrow and jam yesterday but never jam to-day." "It must come sometimes to "jam to-day,""Alice objected. "No it can't," said the Queen. "It's jam every other day; to-day isn't any other day, you know." "I don't understand you," said Alice. "It's dreadfully confusing."

Lewis Carroll
What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning— and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands.

Lewis Carroll
Alice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.' I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again!

Lewis Carroll
The little fishes of the sea,
They sent an answer back to me.
The little fishes' answer was
'We cannot do it, Sir, because—'

Lewis Carroll
It's as large as life and twice as natural.

Lewis Carroll
"But 'glory' doesn't mean 'a nice knockdown argument,' " Alice objected. "When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master—that's all."

Lewis Carroll
Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife - what's the answer to that?

Lewis Carroll