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Laurie Helgoe Quotes
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Introverts keep their best stuff inside—that is, until it is ready. And this drives extroverts crazy! The explanation for the introvert's behavior—and there must be an explanation for this behavior, say the extroverts—is that he or she is antisocial, out of touch, or simply a snob.
Laurie Helgoe
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Introvert conversations are like jazz, where each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo. And like jazz, once we get going, we can play all night. Extrovert conversations are more like tennis matches, where thoughts are batted back and forth, and players need to be ready to respond. Introverts get winded pretty quickly.
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Reading is like travel, allowing you to exit your own life for a bit, and to come back with a renewed, even inspired, perspective.
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Your nature is not the problem. The problem is that you have become alienated from your nature — from your power source.
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A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.
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An introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn't interest her. But for her, the event does not promise meaningful interaction. In fact, she knows that the party will leave her feeling more alone and alienated.
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Introverts paradoxically pull away from culture and create culture.
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I am rarely bored alone; I am often bored in groups and crowds.
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As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your worst enemy. The good news is we generally like our own company, a quality that extroverts often envy. We find comfort in solitude and know how to soothe ourselves.
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Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.
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Though introverts are drained by interaction, we can take immense pleasure in watching the scene around us.
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Extroverts want us to have fun, because they assume we want what they want. And sometimes we do. But "fun" itself is a "bright" word, the kind of word that comes with flashing lights and an exclamation point! One of Merriam-Webster's definitions of "fun" is "violent or excited activity or argument." The very word makes me want to sit in a dimly lit room with lots of pillows-by myself.
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For the introvert, conversation can be a very limited forum for self expression. When a song moves you, a writer gets you or a theory enlightens you, you and its creator are connecting in a realm beyond sight or speech.
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Introverts tend to internalize problems. In other words, we place the source of problems within and blame ourselves. Though introverts may also externalize and see others as the problem, it's more convenient to keep the problem "in house." Internalizers tend to be reliable and responsible, but we can also be very hard on ourselves.
Laurie Helgoe
Quote of the day
Every word she writes is a lie, including 'and' and 'the'.
Mary McCarthy
Laurie Helgoe
Born:
December 10, 1960
(age 63)
Bio:
Laurie Anne Helgoe is an American psychologist and author specializing in personality development and the psychology of desire.
Known for:
The Anxiety Answer Book (2005)
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Raising Boys (2008)
Boomer's Guide to Dating (Again) (2004)
The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Breaking Up (2006)
Laurie Helgoe on Wikipedia
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