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I wanted so badly to tell him, but something about that entire night seemed so beautiful, so bizarre, that I didn't trust it with my secrets.
Lauren DeStefano
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I shake my head, watching snow tumble and swirl from an all-white sky. The world seems so clean if you only look up
Lauren DeStefano
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But there's no such thing as free. There are only different and more horrible ways to be enslaved.
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A strange thing, words. Once they're said, it's hard to imagine they're untrue.
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Even the human race can't claim to be natural anymore. We are fake, dying things. How fitting that I would end up in this sham of a marriage.
Lauren DeStefano
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I wanted to be rid of him," he says. He raises my chin with his thumb. "But not if it meant being rid of you. I climbed in beside you, and you put your head in my lap. You can't think I would have left you like that." "Look what it got you," I say. "Tea in bed and you here in front of me," he says. "It was a terrible decision, and I confess I'd make it again.
Lauren DeStefano
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For males twenty-five is the fatal age. For women it's twenty. We are all dropping like flies.
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Once upon a time there were two parents, two children, and a brick house with lilies in the yard. The parents died, the lilies wilted. One child disappeared. Then the other.
Lauren DeStefano
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Ah, love. That's what the world has lost. There's no more love, only the illusion of it.
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I'll tell you something about true love. There's no science to it. It's as natural as the sky.
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Good night, sweetheart," he says. "Good bye, sweetheart," I say. And it's so casual, so innocent that he doesn't suspect a thing.
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Maybe hope isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's what keeps us together.
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I wonder if she has figured out that I'll never love Linden, especially not in the way she does, and that he'll never love anyone the way he loves her. I wonder if she realizes, despite all her efforts to train me, that I can never take her place.
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I've done it all before, I tell myself, and I can do it again. Trust is the strongest weapon.
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It's the silence I imagine in the rest of the world, the silence of an endless ocean and uninhabitable island, a silence that can be seen from space.
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The trick was looking past the illusion, because the exit was never as far away as it seemed.
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And then I wonder, does my brother think of me this way? We entered this world together, one after the other, beats in a pulse. But I will be first to leave it. That's what I've been promised. When we were children, did he dare to imagine an empty space beside him where I then stood giggling, blowing soap bubbles through my fingers? When I die, will he be sorry that he loved me? Sorry that we were twins? Maybe he already is.
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Times like this, when she slips her hand into mine and holds on tight, and our husband becomes just a shadow in the doorway.
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None of the wives mention the security guards by the door, who will probably tackle us to the ground if we try to leave without our husbands.
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Bet you never eat, he says. Bet you drink up the oxygen like it's butter. Bet you can go for days on nothing but thoughts.
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No matter how lonely it makes me, and no matter how wide and horrific the loneliness, at least I remember who I am.
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We can change so many times in our lives. We're born into a family, and it's the only life we can imagine, but it changes. Buildings collapse. Fires burn. And the next second we're someplace else entirely, going through different motions and trying to keep up with this new person we've become.
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I was born into a world that was already dying; I belong to it.
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Vaughn is talking about the heat, and his voice is so excited that it breaks into whispers at times. He loves his madness the way a bird loves the sky.
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There are so many of us, so many girls. The world wants us for our wombs or our bodies, or it doesn't want us at all.
Lauren DeStefano
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Quote of the day
Nothing is there more friendly to a man than a friend in need.
Plautus
Lauren DeStefano
Born:
October 13, 1984
(age 39)
Bio:
Lauren DeStefano is an American young adult author. She is best known for the Chemical Garden series of novels and her gallows humor.
Known for:
Wither (2011)
Perfect Ruin (2013)
Broken Crowns (2016)
Burning Kingdoms (2015)
Fever (2012)
Most used words:
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place
time
lives
hope
life
left
years
loved
sky
free
dying
imagine
wonder
children
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