John Hoover - Bosses Quotes

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Idiot Bosses are not all bad. Most every one of them are good at something. They're just not good at being bosses.

John Hoover
I once failed miserably trying to market a seminar title, "How to Manage People who are Smarter, More Talented, and Productive tha Your Are." My mistake was advertising to Idiot Bosses who needed the seminar.

John Hoover
Good bosses provide a constant flow of clear and concise information and encourage you and the rest of your team to do the same.

John Hoover
If an employee does something wonderful, an I-Boss might feel a twinge of humiliation... he can take steps to make the employee feel what he's feeling.... That's why... team members who do good things are routinely embarrassed or humiliated by their I-Bosses.

John Hoover
There are people who think they're God.... thinking you're God transcends cluelessness.... God Bosses should be locked up... If you find it expedient to appease the God Boss, pray for pardon from your real Higher Authority and then play church.... He is playing God to compensate for a tremendous lack of confidence.... Trying to subvert or compete with a God Boss will invariably leave you the loser.

John Hoover
Telling God and Machiavellian Bosses what they want to hear is always your best bet.

John Hoover
Masochistic Bosses make sure their departments fail so upper management will deal out punishment.

John Hoover
Idiot Bosses are the mutant hiccups of organizational evolution with cockroach-like immunity to calamities that wipe out truly talented and creative people.

John Hoover
Masochistic Bosses attract codependents like flies to a Sunday picnic.... they're about as uplifting as a boar anchor.... getting something accomplished might mean a reduction in pain and misery, so that's out.

John Hoover
After studying idiot bosses for more than two decades, I finally understand why females in certain species eat their young.

John Hoover
Good Bosses treat those with more power the same way they treat those with less power.

John Hoover
To Paranoid Bosses, everything and everybody is out to get them, including you.

John Hoover
Good Bosses are aware that sharing information in a thorough, timely manner makes people feel included, respected, and acknowledged for their ability to contribute.... And they are receptive to feedback.... all of the time. It is so remarkably easy that bosses who don't should undergo psychiatric examination and electroshock therapy if necessary.

John Hoover
Machiavellian Bosses view the universe as an enormous pyramid. There is one spot at the top and it belongs to them, by divine right.... It is not about you. And it will never be about you, except for the moment you are actually in their way.... they will leave no maneuver or weapon of mass destruction unused in their quest for the top.... They are not clueless, except for things that don't matter to them—like the health and well-being of other people or the goals and objectives of the organization.

John Hoover
Telling Sadistic Bosses what they want to hear, like "... ouch," will only get them charged up to do more punishment... Try pretending you're a masochist. If your performance is convincing... you'll be out in a flash.

John Hoover