Jessica Valenti - The Purity Myth (2009)

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Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure.

Jessica Valenti
It's time to teach our daughters that their ability to be good people depends on their being good people, not on whether or not they're sexually active.

Jessica Valenti
Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women's morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That's all.

Jessica Valenti
Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don't get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren't careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them.

Jessica Valenti
Making women the sexual gatekeepers and telling men they just can't help themselves not only drives home the point that women's sexuality is unnatural, but also sets up a disturbing dynamic in which women are expected to be responsible for men's sexual behavior.

Jessica Valenti
Idea at play here is that of morality. When young women are taught about morality, there's not often talk of compassion, kindness, courage, or integrity. There is, however, a lot of talk about hymens

Jessica Valenti
There were a WHOLE LOTTA us not having sex at Harvard... but none of us thought that that was special enough to start a club about it, for pete's sake.

Jessica Valenti
According to the virginity movement, men have no self-control when it comes to anything sexual.

Jessica Valenti