Jennifer Weiner Quotes

60 Sourced Quotes

I think every person who is single should have a dog. I think the government should step in and intervene: If you're not married or coupled up, whether you've been dumped or divorced or widowed or whatever, they should require you to proceed immediately to the pound nearest you and select an animal companion.

Jennifer Weiner
It's as if, for the purposes of good looks and sexiness, older women simply cease to exist. Or maybe they turn 60 and go marching, "Children of the Corn" style, into the racks at Nordstrom, never to be seen again.

Jennifer Weiner
The way I see it, she began, your mother's devoted her whole life to you kids. She said you kids in precisely the same tone I would have used for you infestation of cockroaches

Jennifer Weiner
She hated the implied familiarity when customers requested things from her by name...

Jennifer Weiner
It's not just about how many followers you have, it's about who they are. If one of your followers has a million followers of her own, or is a reporter at a big paper or the editor of a national magazine, you become that much more desirable to a company that might hope for a funny tweet that could blow up, or even become a story.

Jennifer Weiner
When you get everything you wanted, I think maybe you do have to be a little grateful for the people who got you there... whether or not they thought they were doing you any favors at the time.

Jennifer Weiner
I didn't feel anything but a bone-deep weariness. Like I was suddenly a hundred years old, and I knew at that moment I would have to live a hundred more years, carrying my grief around like a backpack full of stones.

Jennifer Weiner
She thought of what it would be like to grow up without the one certainty that every baby deseved - when I'm hurt or cold or scared, someone will come and care for me - and how that absence could warp you so that you'd lash out at the people you loved, driving them away when all you wanted to do was pull them closer.

Jennifer Weiner
If you wish for something hard enough, the fairy tales teach us, you can get it in the end. But it's hardly ever the way you thought it would be, and the endings aren't always happy ones.

Jennifer Weiner
Regular women carry pictures of their babies, their husbands, their summer houses. Fat ladies carry pictures of themselves at their skinniest.

Jennifer Weiner
Hefty? I'd railed to Peter, waving the clipping for emphasis. Hefty? For the record 'Hefty' is a trash bag. I'm festively plump.

Jennifer Weiner
This is motherhood for you,' said my own mother. 'Going through life with your heart outside your body.

Jennifer Weiner
The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

Jennifer Weiner
They say — "they" being the great philosophers, or possibly the cast of Seinfeld — that breaking up is like pushing over a Coke machine. You can't just do it, you have to set the thing in motion, rock it back and forth a few times.

Jennifer Weiner
You've got to make time. It's important. You know how they tell you on planes, in case of an emergency, the adults should put their oxygen masks on first? You're not going to be any good to anyone if you're not taking care of yourself.

Jennifer Weiner
Hell is an Eagles game where the bleachers are always freezing, the team is always losing, and my family is insane.

Jennifer Weiner
People don't like to see things that aren't perfect. It reminds them of what could go wrong in their own lives, I guess.

Jennifer Weiner
You should be concerned about the state of your soul, not the state of your bank account.

Jennifer Weiner
Maybe it was inertia — or worse, fear — that was keeping me in the same place.

Jennifer Weiner
He loved me. He loved me, but he doesn't love me anymore, and it's not the end of the world.

Jennifer Weiner
The truth, as any woman can tell you, is that there's no place, no profession, nowhere that a woman's looks don't matter.

Jennifer Weiner
As many times as I told her she was beautiful, I know that she never believed me. As many times as I said it didn't matter, I knew that to her it did.

Jennifer Weiner
Playboy showed me what a pretty girl should look like — thin, white, young. More, it showed me what boys thought a pretty girl should look like.

Jennifer Weiner
I don't like futons. They can't commit. I'm a bed! I'm a couch! I'm a bed! I'm a couch!

Jennifer Weiner
Things happen, and you can't make them unhappen. You don't get do-overs, you can't roll back the clock, and the only thing you can change, and the only thing it does any good to worry about, is how you let them affect you.

Jennifer Weiner