Jennifer Weiner Quotes

60 Sourced Quotes

It's as if, for the purposes of good looks and sexiness, older women simply cease to exist. Or maybe they turn 60 and go marching, "Children of the Corn" style, into the racks at Nordstrom, never to be seen again.

Jennifer Weiner
As many times as I told her she was beautiful, I know that she never believed me. As many times as I said it didn't matter, I knew that to her it did.

Jennifer Weiner
And then he left, and came back, and our lives fell apart, like a well-loved book that you'd read and read again, until one night you picked it up to read yourself to sleep and the binding collapsed, sending dozens of pages spiraling toward the floor.

Jennifer Weiner
The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

Jennifer Weiner
Baby," groaned the guy-Ted? Tad?-something like that-and crushed his lips against the side of her neck, shoving her face against the wall of the toilet stall.

Jennifer Weiner
There's all kinds of love in the world, and not all of it looks like the stuff in greeting cards.

Jennifer Weiner
When you get everything you wanted, I think maybe you do have to be a little grateful for the people who got you there... whether or not they thought they were doing you any favors at the time.

Jennifer Weiner
Is it still there?" I asked, staring at his head, bent over, as he wedged the stethoscope beneath my left breast. And then, before I could stop myself, "Does it sound broken?

Jennifer Weiner
The truth, as any woman can tell you, is that there's no place, no profession, nowhere that a woman's looks don't matter.

Jennifer Weiner
Things happen, and you can't make them unhappen. You don't get do-overs, you can't roll back the clock, and the only thing you can change, and the only thing it does any good to worry about, is how you let them affect you.

Jennifer Weiner
If you wish for something hard enough, the fairy tales teach us, you can get it in the end. But it's hardly ever the way you thought it would be, and the endings aren't always happy ones.

Jennifer Weiner
The way I see it, she began, your mother's devoted her whole life to you kids. She said you kids in precisely the same tone I would have used for you infestation of cockroaches

Jennifer Weiner
I want to live in a world where people are judged by who they are instead of what size they wear.

Jennifer Weiner
Somehow I couldn't stop. I had turned into someone that I would have pitied in another life; someone who searched for signs, who analyzed patterns, who went over every word in a conversation looking for hidden meanings, secret signals, the subtext that said, Yes, I still love you, of course I still love you.

Jennifer Weiner
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the patience not to strangle my mother-in-law, chop her into little pieces, and dump them down a sewer.

Jennifer Weiner
Thinking that the world was like an orange, that I could split it open with my thumbnail and find a whole different world, the grown-up world, the secrets beneath the skin.

Jennifer Weiner
So I could write a story about a girl who was a lot like me, her ex-boyfriend, who was a lot like Satan, with a twitchy eyelid and a penis the size of a worn-down nub of an eraser.

Jennifer Weiner
Each new year, women are encouraged to reduce — to measure out our lives in 55-minute barre classes and four-ounce servings of chicken breast, to adhere to the diet that we're sure is going to work this time, even if none of the other diets worked any of the other times.

Jennifer Weiner
When I was five I learned to read. Books were a miracle to me — white pages, black ink, and new worlds and different friends in each one. To this day, I relish the feeling of cracking a binding for the first time, the anticipation of where I'll go and whom I'll meet inside.

Jennifer Weiner
I don't like futons. They can't commit. I'm a bed! I'm a couch! I'm a bed! I'm a couch!

Jennifer Weiner
One of its ears stuck straight up, the other flopped as it ran, and I remembered something I'd read somewhere — that when God sees a dog he likes, He folds one of its ears down to remember it.

Jennifer Weiner
She hated the implied familiarity when customers requested things from her by name...

Jennifer Weiner
Hell is an Eagles game where the bleachers are always freezing, the team is always losing, and my family is insane.

Jennifer Weiner
I didn't feel anything but a bone-deep weariness. Like I was suddenly a hundred years old, and I knew at that moment I would have to live a hundred more years, carrying my grief around like a backpack full of stones.

Jennifer Weiner
He loved me. He loved me, but he doesn't love me anymore, and it's not the end of the world.

Jennifer Weiner