Jacob M. Appel Short Quotes

16 Sourced Quotes

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Nothing sells tombstones like a Girl Scout in uniform.

Jacob M. Appel
The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

Jacob M. Appel
If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Jacob M. Appel
Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Jacob M. Appel
Patriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it.

Jacob M. Appel
You delude yourself that you live in a free country because you never test the boundaries of that freedom.

Jacob M. Appel
If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....

Jacob M. Appel
Most people are far more concerned that they can control their own bodies than they are about petitioning Congress.

Jacob M. Appel
The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

Jacob M. Appel
Always warm up the audience with a joke.... If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke....

Jacob M. Appel
I would prefer to believe that a market in fetal organs would empower women to use their reproductive capabilities to their own economic advantage.

Jacob M. Appel
This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.

Jacob M. Appel
Such is the demographic paradox of a junior physician's relationship with his patients: I worry about how to extend their lives. This anxiety inevitably shortens my own.

Jacob M. Appel
Nixon's offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed like some lovable but bigoted uncle you tolerated at Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Jacob M. Appel
I am grateful that I have rights in the proverbial public square—but, as a practical matter, my most cherished rights are those that I possess in my bedroom and hospital room and death chamber.

Jacob M. Appel
There is a fundamental difference, however, between asking to be permitted to keep a vegetative relative on costly machinery, and asking the taxpayers or society as a whole to pay for such machinery.

Jacob M. Appel