Henry Cloud Quotes

37 Sourced Quotes

When a person travels through a few years with an organization, or with a partnership, or any other kind of working association, he leaves a 'wake' behind in these two areas, task and relationship: what did he accomplish and how did he deal with people?

Henry Cloud
We have our own thoughts, and if we want others to know them, we must tell them.

Henry Cloud
To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless.

Henry Cloud
God's solution for "I can't live that way anymore" is basically, "Good! Don't live that way anymore. Set firm limits against evil behavior that are designed to promote change and redemption. Get the love and support you need from other places to take the kind of stance that I do to help redeem relationship. Suffer long, but suffer in the right way." And when done God's way, chances are much better for redemption.

Henry Cloud
Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.

Henry Cloud
Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.

Henry Cloud
Spouses in healthy relationships cherish each other's space and are champions of each other's causes.

Henry Cloud
If you continue to blame other people for making you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.

Henry Cloud
Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is.

Henry Cloud
It's scary to realize that the only thing holding our friends to us isn't our performance, or our lovability, or their guilt, or their obligation. The only thing that will keep them calling, spending time with us, and putting up with us is love. And that's the one thing we can't control.

Henry Cloud
A person who hasn't grieved a significant loss has unfinished business inside and can cause others great grief as a result.

Henry Cloud
To grow, we need things that we do not have and cannot provide, and we need to have a source of those things who looks favorably upon us and who does things for us for our own good.

Henry Cloud
Diligence is not easy, but we can't reach our goals without it.

Henry Cloud
When leaders lead in ways that people's brains can follow, good results follow as well.

Henry Cloud
In the end, as a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: what you create and what you allow.

Henry Cloud
Dating is not only a wonderful time of life, but also a context for enormous spiritual and personal growth. You learn so much about yourself, others, God, love, spirituality, and life through dating. Done well, it can be fulfilling in and of itself. Done well, it can be one of the most fun and rewarding aspects of your life. Done well, it can lead to a good marriage.

Henry Cloud
Because dating is a human exercise, it can be a tightrope fraught with danger. You will be dating imperfect people, and some of them are more imperfect than others. In addition, you are not perfect either, so that complicates the picture.

Henry Cloud
Confronting an irresponsible person is not painful to him; only consequences are.

Henry Cloud
The idea of submission is never meant to allow someone to overstep another's boundaries. Submission only has meaning in the context of boundaries, for boundaries promote self-control and freedom. If a wife is not free and in control of herself, she is not submitting anyway. She is a slave subject to a slave driver, and she is out of the will of God.

Henry Cloud
Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.

Henry Cloud
Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.

Henry Cloud
Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.

Henry Cloud
Training moments occur when both parents and children do their jobs. The parent's job is to make the rule. The child's job is to break the rule. The parent then corrects and disciplines. The child breaks the rule again, and the parent manages the consequences and empathy that then turn the rule into reality and internal structure for the child.

Henry Cloud
We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.

Henry Cloud
Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.

Henry Cloud
Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as "Taking," you are not getting it.

Henry Cloud
Don't go overboard in praising required behavior: 'We have only done our duty' (Luke 17:10). But do go overboard when your child confesses the truth, repents honestly, takes chances, and loves openly. Praise the developing character in your child as it emerges in active, loving, responsible behavior.

Henry Cloud
When a child shuts down his painful emotional side, he also loses the ability to express his joyous side. Emotions are a whole. With anger comes the ability to express delight; with sadness comes the ability to express lightheartedness. This is the breadth of emotion that allows an adult to experience intimacy with a spouse, with God, and with his children

Henry Cloud
If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you 'do' boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.

Henry Cloud
Things don't change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.

Henry Cloud