Heather Brewer - Eighth Grade Bites (2007)

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If you thought eighth grade was tough, try it with fangs and a fear of garlic.

Heather Brewer
People fear what they can't understand and harm what they fear.

Heather Brewer
Henry shrugged. "I've kissed plenty of girls." "I'm not talking about your mom, dork.

Heather Brewer
Morning, sunshine." Vlad blinked at her. "Morning, sulfuric acid." "Pardon me?" "Well, isn't it just kinda wrong to call a vampire 'sunshine'?

Heather Brewer
Vlad decided that teachers' ideas were a lot like bunches of garlic-intriguing from afar, but up close sadly sickening and, if you weren't careful, DEADLY.

Heather Brewer
Could you get O positive this time? That's my favorite.

Heather Brewer
Whoever had decided that school should start so early in the morning and last all day long needed to be hunted down and forced to watch hours of educational televison without the aid of caffine.

Heather Brewer
I'm a creature of the night for God's sake And she wants me home by eleven?

Heather Brewer
Vlad had found himself longing to encounter those of his own kind, to travel to the streets of Elysia-that far away world, but after a while it seemed more of a fairy tale than anything else. Like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, only with fangs.

Heather Brewer
Vlad blinked, unsure where her question was coming from and, more importantly, where it was going.

Heather Brewer
Vlad's heart sank into his stomach, then squeezed its way down his leg and popped out of the hole in his shoe, where it struck the floor and broke.

Heather Brewer
Because teachers, no matter how kind, no matter how friendly, are sadistic and evil to the core.

Heather Brewer
According to his dad's journal, vampires had been through some of the worst epidemics in history. And apparently, during the days of the Black Plague, their biggest complaint had been rotten "food".

Heather Brewer
To his amazement, he could already hear Henry snoring in the backseat. That guy could fall asleep on a car trip to the mailbox.

Heather Brewer
Nothing could convince Aunt Nelly to let Vlad stay home for the duration of the school year, which just goes to prove that parents and guardians don't care if they're sending you to face bloodthirsty monsters, so long as you get a B in English.

Heather Brewer