George S. Kaufman Quotes

13 Sourced Quotes

The kind of doctor I want is one who, when he's not examining me, is home studying medicine.

George S. Kaufman
Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.
Of the US Senate

George S. Kaufman
American lyricist Ira Gershwin on noticing two older men entering the theater:
Gershwin: That must be Gilbert and Sullivan coming to fix the show.
Kaufman: Why don't you put jokes like that into your lyrics?

George S. Kaufman
Poor Harold, he can live on his income all right, but he no longer can live on the income from his income.
Of Harold Vanderbilt

George S. Kaufman
Mrs Whitehead: That's bigamy.
Captain Spaulding: Yes, and it's big of me, too.

George S. Kaufman
Driftwood (Groucho Marx): It's all right. That's—that's in every contract. That's—that's what they call a sanity clause.
Fiorello (Chico Marx): You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Claus.

George S. Kaufman
I'm sick of these conventional marriages. One woman and one man was good enough for your grandmother. But who wants to marry your grandmother?

George S. Kaufman
Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king.

George S. Kaufman
On Du Maurier's reserved acting style:
I am well, except for a slight cold caught watching Sir Gerald du Maurier making love.

George S. Kaufman
Everything I've ever said will be credited to Dorothy Parker.

George S. Kaufman
I want something that will keep me awake thinking it was the food I ate and not the show I saw.
After a disastrous preview

George S. Kaufman
'' translates as 'a success that ran out of steam'.

George S. Kaufman
There was laughter in the back of the theatre, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.

George S. Kaufman