Gena Showalter - Alice in Zombieland (2012)

24 Sourced Quotes

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Please, I'd love to meet the guy you couldn't handle, and give him and award.

Gena Showalter
Is it sad that my first thought happened to be: Thank God I'm off the treadmill.

Gena Showalter
I've seriously got to stop turning my girlfriends gay, but like I can really help it. It's my animal appeal.

Gena Showalter
Don't look now, but that's my ex over there." Surely I'm not the only one who takes "don't look now" as "there's no better time than now." I looked. "Bad, Ali!" Another slap to my arm. "Bad, bad, bad Ali! Have you no self control?

Gena Showalter
Yeah, okay. You're right. I was having dinner with Zombie Carl the other night. You know, steak, rare, and a bottle of vintage type A. He told me all his secrets, but too bad for you I promised him I wouldn't tell. In exchange I asked him to gather his best undead buddies and stalk me through my friend's yard. And oh, yeah, it was totally fine if they wanted to use me as an all-night-dinner buffet, because having organs is SO last year.

Gena Showalter
You don't think I'm crazy?" I asked hesitantly. "Like I'm one to judge another persons sanity.

Gena Showalter
Life's too short to pretend and play games like that. I want to spend my time hanging out with people who make me feel good about myself. People who make me happy.

Gena Showalter
Your Grandpa was a boxer in his youth. Sexiest thing I'd ever seen, let me tell you. He wore these short little shorts, and was always dripping in sweat." There goes my appetite.

Gena Showalter
Cole, who had kissed me. Cole, who had refused to discuss it afterwards. Okay, fine. I had refused. Cole, who was driving me flipping crazy.

Gena Showalter
He was gorgeous, and I absolutely, no question, had to be drooling. After a quick and hopefully stealthy check – big show, I wasn't!- I found myself wonder what color his eyes were. Brown maybe. Or even hazel. Either way…wow, just wow. Deer? Headlights? Hi, I'm Ali.

Gena Showalter
I am so glad we met at an undisclosed location over the summer.

Gena Showalter
Have you ever seen a witness? That's what she called herself. Not a ghost, those don't exist, and not an angel, those do, but a witness." "No." "Ever heard the term?" "Outside of a legal trial, no.

Gena Showalter
Blood spurted from his nose. Okay, I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing.

Gena Showalter
I'm not mad, though," Kat said. "You lied to me, and I lied to you. We're even." Finally he lost the grin. "When did you lie?" She gave him a Sweet'N Low smile, as if his amusement had been poured into her. "Every time we messed around. I didn't actually enjoy myself, if you know what I mean.

Gena Showalter
Are you trying to tell me that you've never been kissed?" I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. He looked so dubious, and his tone had borderd on insulting. "Yeah. So?" "So, I'm shocked, that's all. You're...you." In-sul-ting."Me?" I asked stiffly. "Yeah. Hot," he said. Wait. Me? HOT? He laughed down at me."No one's told you that, either, have they?" I could only shake me head. "You've clearly been hanging around idiots.

Gena Showalter
I'm not trying to—What do teenagers say nowadays? he asked my grandmother. Get all up in her biznez, Nana said.Without cracking a smile. That's right, he replied. We're not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali.

Gena Showalter
Girl, he wants to dip you in Frosted Flakes and have you for breakfast. That's his favorite cereal, by the way." I...had no words for that.

Gena Showalter
I looked around, counting the competition. Sixteen. To win, all I had to do was incapacitate each one, place my hand over their hearts and turn my palm into a flame. Easy. Yeah right.

Gena Showalter
I'd stood my ground against him. I wasn't going to jump when he said jump. I was more likely to give him the finger.

Gena Showalter
He's body slammed enough people to start a new country. And there could be a neighbouring city for the people he's punched in the throat

Gena Showalter
She's a skank. He's a player. He's cute but almost OD'd last year, so he's a bad bet. She's a two-faced, lying, cheating witch. That's right, Trina, I'm talking to you," she shouted. "By the way," she added just for me, "Trina cusses, which means cussing is trashy, which means my golden rule is to never cuss. I have class. Unlike Trina, the skank of Birmingham." The last part was, of course, shouted.

Gena Showalter
Of course. She fluffed her hair. I don't want to brag, but I'm very high maintenance. Uh, I think low maintenance is what's desirable. Low maintenance is what's forgettable. You might want to write that down, underline it, circle it and put a star by it. It's golden. With barely a breath, she added, Now let's find out if we're compatible, shall we?

Gena Showalter
Everyone at school seems to go by a nickname. Kat, Frosty, Bronx, Boo Bear, Jelly Bean, Freckles.

Gena Showalter
I can't promise we'll ever use you for a hasty getaway," Cole said, "but with a little work, you might be able to race my grandmother-while she's on her scooter.

Gena Showalter