Gail Carriger - Soulless (2009)

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He was so very large and so very gruff that he rather terrified her, but he always behaved correctly in public, and there was a lot to be said for a man who sported such well-tailored jackets—even if he did change into a ferocious beast once a month.

Gail Carriger
Stop playing verbal games with me, madam, or I shall go out into that ballroom, find your mother, and bring her here

Gail Carriger
These feelings you engender in me, my lord, are most indelicate. You should stop causing them immediately.

Gail Carriger
I like fish," chirruped Tunstell. "Really, Mr. Tunstell? What is your preferred breed?" "Well"—Tunstell hesitated—"you know, the um, ones that"—he made a swooping motion with both hands—"uh, swim.

Gail Carriger
His eyes are peculiar. There is nothing in them, like an eclair without the cream filling. It's wrong, lack of cream.

Gail Carriger
Oh, Herbert," she said pleadingly to her silent husband, "you must make him marry her! Call for the parson immediately! Look at them... they are...," she sputtered, "canoodling!

Gail Carriger
My father, she admitted, was of Italian extraction. Unfortunately, not an affliction that can be cured. She paused. Though he did die.

Gail Carriger
Alphas simply did not grovel; arrogance was part of the job description.

Gail Carriger
Lord Maccon looked up. Grovel, you say? Lyall did not glance away from the latest vampire report he was perusing. Grovel, my lord.

Gail Carriger
With a resigned shrug, she screamed and collapsed into a faint. She stayed resolutely fainted, despite the liberal application of smelling salts, which made her eyes water most tremendously, a cramp in the back of one knee, and the fact that her new ball gown was getting most awfully wrinkled.

Gail Carriger
I may be a werewolf and Scottish, but despite what you may have read about both, we are not cads!

Gail Carriger
What if I arrange to be around Lord Akeldama during the full moon? The earl looked daggers. I am certain he would be extremely helpful in a fight. He could ruthlessly flatter all your attackers into abject submission.

Gail Carriger
Even Alexia, spinster that she was, was given an allowance large enough to dress her to the height of fashion— although she did tend to stick to trends a little too precisely. The poor thing could not help it. Her choice of clothing simply lacked soul.

Gail Carriger
Ivy Hisselpenny was the unfortunate victim of circumstances that dictated she be only-just-pretty, only-just-wealthy, and possessed of a terrible propensity for wearing extremely silly hats.

Gail Carriger
No, Lord Maccon was riproaring, tumble down, without a doubt, pickled beyond the gherkin.

Gail Carriger
Please, Lord Maccon, use one of the cups. My delicate sensibilities. The earl actually snorted. My dear Miss Tarabotti, if you possessed any such things, you certainly have never shown them to me.

Gail Carriger
The bowl landed, in glorious perfection, atop the head of Mrs Barnaclegoose, who was not the kind of woman to appreciate the finer points of being crowned by trifle.

Gail Carriger
Uh, my lord, I am not actually food. You do realize this, yes?

Gail Carriger
I kissed her," he explained, aggrieved. "Mmm, yes, I had the dubious pleasure of witnessing that, ah-hem, overly public occurrence." Lyall sharpened his pen nib, using a small copper blade that ejected from the end of his glassicals. "Well! Why hasn't she done anything about it?" the Alpha wanted to know. "You mean like whack you upside the noggin with that deadly parasol of hers? I would be cautious in that area if I were you.

Gail Carriger
The duke contents himself mainly with attempting to rule the world and other suchlike nonsense. When one is guiding the patterns of the social universe, a single spinster preternatural is unlikely to cause one undue distress.

Gail Carriger
Very well, Lord Maccon. If we are going to play this particular hand, would you be interested in becoming my... Mistress?

Gail Carriger
Miss Tarabotti was not certain if he was objecting to the kick or the scream, so she issued both again— with interest. He seemed to be having a difficult time negotiating Alexia's multiple layers of skirts and ruffles, which formed a particularly efficacious barrier in the tight confines of the hackney.

Gail Carriger
The voice was low and tinged with a hint of Scotland. It would have caused Alexia to shiver and think primal monkey thoughts about moons and running far and fast, if she'd had a soul. Instead it caused her to sigh in exasperation and sit up.

Gail Carriger
These things, regrettably, are bound to occur when one is married and befriended.

Gail Carriger
Alexia suspected Lord Maccon's handling was a tad more than was strictly called for under the circumstances, but she secretly enjoyed the sensation. After all, how often did a spinster of her shelf life get manhandled by an earl of Lord Maccon's peerage? She had better take advantage of the situation.

Gail Carriger
Alexia blinked stupidly at the Beta from around the earl's upper arm. Her heart was doing crazy things, and she still could not locate her kneecaps. She took a deep breath and put some serious attention into tracking them down.

Gail Carriger
Cats were not, in her experience, an animal with much soul. Prosaic, practical little creatures as a general rule. It would suit her very well to be thought catlike.

Gail Carriger
Hello, princess, said Lord Maccon to the vampire. Got yourself into quite a pickle this time, didn't you? Lord Akeldama looked him up and down. My sweet young naked boy, you are hardly one to talk. Not that I mind, of course.

Gail Carriger
Goodness gracious me, exclaimed Alexia, what are you wearing? It looks like the unfortunate progeny of an illicit union between a pair of binoculars and some opera glasses. What on earth are they called, binocticals, spectaculars? The earl snorted his amusement and then tried to pretend he hadn't. How about glassicals? he suggested, apparently unable to resist a contribution.

Gail Carriger
She would have colored gracefully with embarrassment had she not possessed the complexion of one of those heathen Italians, as her mother said, who never colored, gracefully or otherwise. (Convincing her mother that Christianity had, to all intents and purposes, originated with the Italians, thus making them the exact opposite of heathen, was a waste of time and breath.)

Gail Carriger