F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead - Judge Quotes

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Judge: I've listened to you for an hour and I'm none wiser.
Smith: None the wiser, perhaps, my lord but certainly better informed.

F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead

Judge: What do you suppose I am on the bench for?
Smith: It is not for me, Your Honour, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead

Smith (to The Court): At the time, my client was as drunk as a judge.
Judge (interjecting): Mr. Smith, I think you'll find the phrase is 'as drunk as a lord'.
Smith: As your Lordship pleases.

F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead

Judge Willis: Mr Smith, have you ever heard of a saying by Bacon—the great Bacon—that youth and discretion are ill-wed companions?
Smith: Indeed I have, your Honour; and has your Honour ever heard of a saying by Bacon—the great Bacon—that a much talking Judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?

F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead

Judge Darling: And who is George Robey?
Smith: Mr George Robey is the Darling of the music halls, m'lud.

F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead

Judge: You are extremely offensive, young man!
Smith: As a matter of fact we both are; and the only difference between us is that I am trying to be, and you can't help it.

F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead

Judge: I have read your case, Mr Smith, and I am no wiser now than I was when I started.
Smith: Possibly not, My Lord, but far better informed.

F. E. Smith, 1st Earl of Birkenhead