Erma Bombeck - Aunt Erma's Cope Book (1979)

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The fact was I didn't want to look my age, but I didn't want to act the age I wanted to look either. I also wanted to grow old enough to understand that sentence.

Erma Bombeck

Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.

Erma Bombeck

I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.

Erma Bombeck

I became hysterical and frightened and begged for sedation. And that was just the first prenatal visit.

Erma Bombeck

I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.

Erma Bombeck